A prayer

Lord Father,
Thank you for all that you have given me. For all the things I do not deserve, for all the blessing you have blessed me with, for all the love you surround me with. I want to thank you. Lord Father I know that you have me here running a race and that race has a goal and I thank you for entrusting me with it. I ask Lord Father that you continue to help me to keep running the good race (Gal. 5:7) Lord Father. To help me forget my past and strain towards what is ahead. Lord Father help me to press towards Your goal Lord Father (Phil 3:13b-14).
Help me Lord Father to live a life so full of faith that I can say when I stand before you that I fought the good fight, I have finished the race, and I have kept the faith Lord Father (2 Tim 4:7). Lord Father I ask that you help me to continue to run this race with the perseverance that is needed to complete it to Your satisfaction.  This is the race you have marked out for me (Hebrews 12:1b). Lord Father I ask for Your help to give me the strength not to just keep running it Lord Father, but to keep running it with a smile on my face. Lord Father, I know that you have great plans for me (Jer 29:11) and I just ask Lord Father that You help me to not run like a man running aimlessly (1 Cor. 9:26), but to run with a purpose in mind. Your purpose Lord Father. Let everything I do be for Your glory Lord Father and for Your honor. Please continue to guide me in your way Lord Father. I ask all these things in Your name Lord Father.

Amen

Always good to see

when one's English lessons are paying off. So glad to know the girls are paying attention in class. #headdesk

My heart breaks

My heart breaks
everyday another piece is splintered
every story that gets a voice I feel another crack
each time a girl lets a tear slip down her cheek
I hear the crack
They are so young to be this bitter
they are too young to be this angry
too young to know the words hate, fear, pain,
yet they do
and every time I see it reflected in their eyes another
part of my heart breaks

The newest break took a chunk right out
a hole is left and I pray it will be filled
she was 7 when she learned those words
when the bitter and shame filled her
she still plays with dolls yet holds them close
in fear of what happened to her will happen to them
my heart breaks

yet everyday I see a glimpse of something wonderful
I see a smile, a look, a glance
I hear laughter, see dancing, listen to singing
I watch as they color, as they play, as they help one another
each day I watch them grow stronger, I listen to them become louder
day by day the anger seeps away
the bitterness dries up and the joy starts to break through

everyday I walk in I get 8 hugs, 8 shouts of good morning
8 beautiful little girls running up to me to show me what they did last night
every morning I have 4 wonderful girls listening as I teach English
making me cards, doing homework, telling me of their dreams to go to school,
become a doctor, fix things, serve in the army.

Everyday my heart breaks yet everyday a piece is put back in place.
With every smile, every laughter, every song my heart begins to heal.

Bihu the gift that keeps on giving...

Some of you may have seen the pictures, if not you can see them here, I posted of a Bihu celebration that we celebrated in the home. That celebration happened back in April. As of the 2nd week in May there were still Bihu celebrations occurring. When Indians celebrate Spring they really, really go all out. I would love to tell you what Bihu is really about, but alas I can't. Mainly because I am still uncertain as to what exactly we are celebrating for so long. I think it has something to do with spring, dressing up, fireworks, love, singing and dancing. Other than that and what Wikapedia tells me I still don't get it.

I still don't understand the words to the songs nor the steps to the dances. I don't undertand why the fireworks go off for 30 minuts right as I am drifting off into a nice peaceful dream that either includes scenes from LOTRs, SGA or Zach Levi. I don't get why the drums are so loud and the singing last until all hours of the night in a high pitched voice.

That being said the people here apparently love all that I don't understand. They love the music, the dancing, the dressing up. The love the sales, the random groups of dancers that come house to house asking for money in order to dance. They love the fireworks, and the food.

So apparently Bihu is something that is deeply important to the Assamese people and while I may not completely understand it. I have to admit I admire their dedication to it. I admire how serious they take it, how much they enjoy it, and the simple fact that they want to celebrate it.

Thankfully as I am writing this one I can say the celebrations have officially ended here in Assam for at least another month or two. For I was just informed there are 4 different Bihus... and to that I say bring on the drums, dancing, dressing up, singing, and food. Cause when in Assam I say do like an Assamese person would do. Bring on the Bihu.