Side saddle is a sure fire way to die

I know, I know it sounds like fun... well its not. It is in fact scary as hell. You are barely balanced, you can not move in the way your body naturally wants you too (if you do the driver will in fact yell at you in numerous languages) the whole time the above mentioned driver is bobbing and weaving in and out of traffic going speeds I dare not mention for those weak in stature. The whole time he is doing his bobbing and weaving thing you are clinging to the back of the bumper and to his shoulder yelling at him in only one language that isn't suitable for young ears. Then when that doesn't work you resort to threating to haunt him every day of his life if he gets you killed. With the added threat of "and trust me you don't want this voice haunting you everyday until you die!"

Now as if that wasn't all traumatic enough let's add in the wonderful creation known as a dupatta. That just loves to fly in the wind reminding you that if it feels like it, it can and will end your life by getting caught in the wheels. Because it knows that you know there is no way you are letting go of the stupid bike to catch it cause that would be a sure fire way to die as well. You really begin to realize that stupid express caught between a rock and a hard place fits this exact situation. Making you want to know which rock and hard place that person who came up with the expression was in. I bet you it was wearing a dupatta whilst riding side saddle on a freaking bike in India. I would in fact put money on that (no seriously I won't because you know I don't have any).

The dupatta also knows that if you should happen to shift to try and grab it that your driver's wrath will come hard, swift and without warning. He will jerk suddenly to the side. Tell you with measured breath to get off his bike. Then after what I'm sure was counting to 10 tell you to get back on. This time you are to "sit like a man for crying out loud". As you get off you think nope not going to happen I am not getting on this bike again with this person yelling at me and this stupid dupatta choking me and no... screw it I will walk home. Until you realize you have no idea where you are because during the whole ride besides the panic that was building about the fact you just might die as a fatality due to a dupatta you also had your eyes shut praying that the ride would be over as soon as possible and that you wouldn't die being known as the foreigner that choked herself to death.

So with a deep breathe and a prayer you hop back on the dang bike sitting like a man this time with your dupatta firmly tucked under your butt.