For Women ~ I hope this helps as it helped me thru a rough patch

I chose you before I formed you in the womb; I set you apart before you were born. I appointed you a prophet to the nations ~ Jeremiah 1:5

Pay close attention to these 3 main points:
1. I chose you
2. I set you apart
3. I appointed you

You are a woman chosen, a woman set apart and a woman appointed. You are not here by accident in this moment. It is no mistake that you are living right now with your won set of circumstances, dealing with your specific set of issues, all while working within your personalized set of skills and abilities.

God has made you  and has placed you here... on purpose.

1. He chose you. You are involved in a divinely designed, carefully calculated, and eternally significant plan. For reason you may not fully understand or even agree with, God selected you as His own. His choice of you was based on a deep, intimate knowledge of who you are. So even if you can not fathom why God would choose a person like you to participate in a particular activity, He Himself is well aware of His reasons. He has selected you, and everything about you, to participate in the work He is doing at this point in history. God's choice of you for this leg of the marathon was by design.
Not because it has accidentally happened like this but because you have been known and Chosen by the Coach who sees you as uniquely suited, equipped, and capable of carrying out such amazing plans with such intricate precision.

You did not choose Me, but I chose you ~ John 15:16
if we're ever to live out the plans He has for us. Your value, like mine, is ultimately found in the underserved but wholly divine selection processes of God.

2.  He set you apart. Being "set apart" carries the idea of being dedicated for a specific use at a specific time, being reserved for those opportunities when (and how and where) you can best be used, when you can most be yourself. You are a holy vessel of God, set apart for specific times when the uniqueness you offer can be fully used and valued "a special instrument, set apart, useful to the Master ~ 2 Timothy 2:21
We were each created by a God to do our part. And if we fail to do it because we don't its valuable enough, great loss will be suffered. Someone, somewhere, needs YOU - in all of your uniqueness - to step up to the plate of your calling.

Rather than seeking to impress and outperform others, and rather than feeling ashamed by what you don't have and can't do, relish the opportunity to stand as a living, walking, eating, breathing example of what God's grace can do with a woman He has set apart, weaknesses and all, to be a sacred vessel in His service. You are a purposeful place setting.

3. He has appointed you.  Being chosen and set apart is quite an honor, but make no mistake - it comes with great responsibility. Among the reason God chose you was to put you in a position to yield specific outcomes in your personal life situations. You did not choose Me, but I chose you. I appointed you that you should go out and produce fruit ~ John 15:16

Therefore, you can trust that He has planted you right now in the place where you will be the most personally productive. Even if you are not inherently pleased with the person He's made you to be, even if you may not be abundantly happy with the circumstances you're currently living, you can be sure that God has planted you here with design and intention.

He has selected the "soil" where you're presently growing. Every kind of season and weather you experience has had to pass through HIs fingers before coming into contact with you. It's all been divinely designed to surround you with the conditions that allow your unique gifts and abilities to reach maximum potential. To grow. To yield. To produce.
Your seeds are designed to produce a crop that's uniquely yours. So there's no point in trying to produce fruit that is someone else's to grow. Your job at any given moment is to bring all your gifts, all your talents, all your propensities and all your passions into this thing called life and believe that they are good enough to produce the fruit that is expected of you.

Trust Him. He knows you, He has special plans for you.

I don't know all the things you're struggling with at this moment as you strive to attain a healthier self image. But I know that the only way to experience it is to fall back into the genuine, authentic reality of your value in God's eyes - the One who chose you, set you apart, and appointed you to bear fruit. He has loved you enough to make you like no other, and He's given you a task that is yours alone to complete with His abundant help and empowerment.

***All this was taken from Priscilla Shirer's The Resolution for Women. All credit is due to her and her alone. I only shared this because myself and my dear friends struggle with self-esteem issues and this really struck a cord with me. My prayer is it struck a cord with you. Please pick up this book it will empower you to resolve to being the woman God created you to be ***

Weekly Bible study

One of the perks of being here is the daily bible devotions we do every morning. Because of that I have been really able to dig deep on some scriptures and work in my own personal Bible study time.

Today we studied 2 Corinthians 1:3-11 which talks about comfort from God and how we are comforted in our troubles so that we can comfort those who may go through the same struggles later on. Just like Jesus suffered through everything we currently face, will face or have faced, so that when we need comfort we can trust that He does understand. That He can truly comfort us. This study reminded me of Psalm 13 where David ask:
How long O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me?

Don't we sometimes feel like this? Like God has forgotten us... that maybe we have been cut off from God's favor. We may experience deep depression in our soul daily. Not to mention that we might feel humiliation that here we are proclaiming that God will save us from this heartach and yet he hasn't. It makes it look as if we are on the losing side of the battle.  I know I have felt like this numerous times over and even all of those feelings at the same time. It is sometimes hard in the midst of a crisis to not wonder Lord have you forgotten me....

So what can we do... when you continue to read on in Psalm 13 it says "But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, for he has been good to me." How beautiful is that. Even in the midst of a depression even when the enemy had David pinned down and all hope seemed lost... he was able to to praise God. To trust in his unfailing love and to rejoice in his salvation. Not only was David facing death, but he was singing to the Lord about his unfailing love.

How awe inspiring that pasage was to me. It hits on the fact we must first trust in God's unfailing love and mercy. Then rejoice that we have been chosen by God for the most precious gift of salvation. Knowing that Christ was sent down from Heaven to live as a poor man, to experience life as we have, to face everything we suffer through. Only to be mocked, spat on and cursed. Then he was beaten and hung on a cross for our sins. He died then rose again so that we can have an enternal life with God. When you look at that can you not sing his praises nor be reassured that this crisis will pass and take comfort because God has been very good to me. He comforts me and His love will never fail. 

Generosity

I am in a state of constant awe at the awesomeness of God. How he works just amazes me. Every step of this journey has been completely dependent on family, friends, and strangers to donate and help me out. Every step I’ve taken has been met by loved ones. Each donation that I’ve received has paid for the airplane ticket to Assam, the Visa application process, and shots. The day before each item was needed to be purchased I had the exact amount of money donated from various donors. Through each step of the process whether it was the night before, the hour before the due time, the last minute the exact amount of money has come in.

I am now through with the due dates nothing has a time frame for me other than basic expenses when I am over there. The only thing needed is a plane ticket home and funding when I am overseas to support my basic living cost. My plane ticket home is roughly $1200 dollars and my living expenses will be anywhere from $200 a month to $300 a month. I had a fundraiser the other night with friends and family and I sit in awe at God working yet again. Many of my family and friends are in a tight spot just like me. Many have homes, families and bills to pay. A lot are in school or attempting to chase their own dreams and yet they have done nothing but help me in any way I need. Because of their love and generosity I have been able to make my dream come true and follow my calling from God. Because of God’s perfect timing everything I have raised and done for this trip shows that it is all Him. I have done nothing except tell him that I am ready Lord send me.

And He is He is sending me on this mission. Through this mission and this process of heading over I have learned a great deal. I have learned to trust Him like I have never before. I have learned that a leap of faith can sometimes be the scariest thing a person can do. I’ve learned my own fears and more importantly I have learned where my strengths reside. The most important thing that I have learned is God is in control. He will give you the desires of your heart. I have learned that He surrounds us with people we need for the mission we need to accomplish. Each person I have talked to about this needed to hear about it. Each person that has given me money or donated time to help me with this trip has made each aspect happen. Without them, without the generosity of friends, family and strangers I wouldn’t have been able to experience the faith and trusting of God during this journey.

So thank you! Thank you to all of you who have prayed for me, for my safety, for my journey. Thank you to all who have donated to this journey. Thank you to each and every one of you for your faith, hope and trust that you have put in me and God. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all of your love and generosity.

Blessings!

Do you ever have moments like this...

There are somethings we do in life that I sit back and wonder what the heck was I thinking... I won't go into those decisions or actions at this time its a longer story for another day. I know some of you understand that sentence because at some point in all of our lives we've had that moment (or two as in my case). I say all that because many people have asked me why India...

All I can answer is I don't know. I have no idea why God has called me to India, to this mission, for 6 months. I have no idea why it was The 7sisters international organization that I am going to work with. I do not know anything that God has planned. All I know is that he is doing things I can't understand nor see at this time, but I believe that they are going to be great.

Jesus replied, "You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand." John 13:7

You see I have failed many times in life. I have made many mistakes. I am not the prime example someone who should be sent on this work. I have a past, as do some of you reading this. I have things I am ashamed of, embarrassed to be associated with, and try on a regular basis to forget.  I know that the enemy likes to play and remind me of these things and heck he does a great job of reminding me that no one who knew me the way God does would ever want to send me to do this important work...

But then the voice of truth, light and love remind me that He does know me. He knows what I've done, He knows where I've come from, He knows my pains, hurts, bad choices, and regrets. Yet he still loves me. He still cares for me and He still wants nothing for me but a future of good and hope. And most importantly He chose me for this particular mission. I do not know what the future holds, I do not know what will happen in India. I have no idea what purpose I am going to fulfill by going. I know not what lies ahead. What I do know is that My God has control of this situation. He is with me always and will be by my side through it all. And that is what fills me with peace, hope and gives me the most comfort. So I am going to India to be amazed as I allow God to use me in any way He sees fit. After all He holds me in the palm of His hand and will never let me fall.

For those of you questioning if God could ever use you in His great plan read this and remember God calls those who He needs and then equips them with what they need to do the job.

One of God's great reminders that even with a past, regrets, or mistakes he can still use us after all:
Noah was a drunk
Abraham was too old
Jacob was a liar
Leah was ugly
Joseph was abused
Moses had a stuttering problem
Gideon was afraid
Samson had long hair and was a womanizer
Rehab was a prostitute
Jeremiah and Timothy were too young
David had an affair and was a murder
Elijah was suicidal
Isaiah preached naked
Jonah ran from God
Naomi was a widow
Job went bankrupt
Peter denied Christ
The disciples fell asleep while praying
Martha worried about everything
The Samaritan woman was divorced
Zaccheus was too small
Paul was too Religious
Timothy had an ulcer
Lazarus was dead

So found out more about airplane tickets today

So apparently it will be a 3 day trip to get to Assam India...
I leave on a Monday and go to O'Hare from there to London England which I leave on that Monday night fly overnight to London so arrive on Tuesday at 10am. From there at 11a I leave for Delhi and arrive in Delhi at 1:25am then I leave at 8am to Guwahati which is my home destination on Wednesday at 10:30am.

I can honestly say I didn't image it would take 3 days to get there nor can I say that I planned on it costing me $1,029 bucks to get there one way...

needless to say I'm about 600 shy of that amount... But I am trusting God and refusing to get discouraged or panic. I REFUSE!!!

"In God I trust, I will not be afraid" Psalm 56:11

Come on God I need you to show off for me in a BIG way!

If you feel like God is calling you to help you can donate here:
http://www.youcaring.com/mission-trip-fundraiser/Counseling-Human-Trafficking-Victims/28755

Or email me at saraibrown@hotmail.com and I will let you know my address for checks.
Otherwise please keep me in your prayers I need all the prayers I can get at this time!

Whew its been crazy

Sorry everyone that I have been off the map for so long! I got the news about India during the time I had midterms, then Thanksgiving happened and now well finals are next week!

To be honest I haven't had much time to think about India and what it means to God and myself. Nor have I had time to process exactly what India will be like, what I need to pack, getting a ticket, shots or insurance...

And to be quite frank I'm freaking out. I have some donations and I need to set up a bank account, I have to get a phone and people are asking if there will be a going away party. For those who are wanting to come we will be having a going away, birthday, and fundraising party on the same night b/c that's how I roll.

I am aiming for January 12th the last absolutely last day I can get tickets so I am hoping that I raise enough money by then to at least have my plane tickets. Otherwise I am pushed back another week...

Normally that alone would be enough to freak me out, but the one thing I have learned from this whole experience is this will happen on God's time not mine. And His time is perfect! So I am waiting and sitting back trying to pass school so that my WHOLE attention can be on India next week and from that moment on.

THANK YOU ALL for all the continual support and prayers! I love you and still need them so please, please, please keep me on your church prayer chains, in your personal prayers, and know that I appreciate everything you are all doing to help me keep doing what I've been told to do for the kingdom of God!

 



I do promise you more updates once finals are done! Pinky swear ;)

How to help me in Assam!

Alright guys you asked for it and here it is: A way that you can help me help victims. The letter has come in and it is official I am going to Assam India for 6 months in January. So here's what your money will go for:

Airplane tickets: round trip will cost me $2,500
Shots that I need to enter the country: $1,500 or so b/c insurance won't pay for it
Visa cost: $200
Insurance while I am overseas in case of anything: 1,200 (for the whole 6 months)
Room and Board plus the stuff that goes with it: 3,000 for the whole 6 months
Food and any extras that may come up: 1800 (for the whole 6 months)

I also know that prices change and things may end up being cheaper or more expensive as the trip goes. Anything left over will go to the organization hosting me. For more information on the 7 Sisters organization head here: http://7sistersinternational.org/ This is a fantastic organization and I am truly blessed to be able to help them in any way.

Any and all is welcomed especially if you would keep me in your prayers! Thank you all and as promised I will keep you all updated on my progress!

Also you can make any donations on line here: http://www.youcaring.com/fundraiser_details?url=counselinghumantraffickingvictims&fundraiser_id=13796&fb_action_ids=10200101047313950&fb_action_types=og.likes&fb_source=aggregation&fb_aggregation_id=288381481237582 or you can send a check to me if you have any questions just shoot me off an email and I would be happy to answer!

Waiting on the Lord...

Psalm 62:5

Patiently wait for God alone, my soul! For he is the one who gives me confidence.

Isaiah 30:18

Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; therefore he will rise up to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!

I'm starting to see a theme when it comes to waiting. I am doing it A LOT waiting recently. I am also seeing a pattern when it comes to being tempted when one is waiting. Hold fast and be strong in the Lord because the enemy knows your weaknesses is something new I have recently learned. The enemy knows when you are wavering and he knows where to strike to get you to fall fast. You see the enemy has been watching me (us, you) since we were born. He's had years to study us and knows where we are weak. He knows our past and he knows where to strike us first and hard. Every time I get in a position where I have to wait on the Lord and have faith is when the enemy rears his ugly head and begins the attack.

Just when I think that I have it all together or as close as I can do on my own is when I realize I don't.

Just when I think for sure this time I am going to do better, I fail.

Just when I think I got this I don't need to study the Bible, pray, or just sit and be in the presence of the Lord, is when I realize I don't have this.

Just when I think that for sure this time is going to be different he laughs and throws a new curve ball at me.

I AM DONE WITH IT. I won't fall for it any longer and I will not put up with it. I am tired of running around in circles in my head. It's scary in there that's where all the lies, half-truths and scars are. Every time I allow myself to dwell too long on my own thoughts or linger for a moment over thinking something is when I fall. And sadly that's what's been happening to me this last week. I was told that I should know for sure about India by last Friday and at the absolute latest this Friday. So what started happening on Wednesday? I started to panic. I hadn't heard anything what could that mean? Then the panic slowly turned to depression. Well obviously I am not ready so the Lord must have found someone better. My depression quickly turned into a well I don't care anyway mood.

And I promise you this happened in the span of 24 hours. I went to bed nervous woke up with no fingernails (I apparently chewed them in my sleep) and by the time I went to dinner the next night with friends I had already spiraled down that far, that quick, and the worst part was I didn't recognize it for what it was.

It was an attack and I allowed it to happen because I believed the lies, the scars, and the half-truths that are still in my head. The lies about how could God love me when no man does. I mean my own husband ran away to someone else why would God stay with me? The lie that I wasn't good enough to keep a job, a man, a good friend, my father in my life so why would I be good enough for God to send me on such an important mission. The lie that I am a failure at most things in life I mean I can't even keep up a basic exercise or diet routine how could I possibly succeed in India when I fail at such easy stuff here?

LIES all LIES!

Something that I have heard, misinterpreted, overheard, believed, allowed to be told to me, let warp into my daily thoughts. But, they are all lies. Whether or not I go to India doesn't affect God's love for me. Whether or not I am picked for this time doesn't mean that he still doesn't have great plans for me in the future. No matter what my future holds I know it is good, and full of blessings. For he knows the plans He has for me. Plans to prosper and bless not to harm ~ Jeremiah 29:11 

There is a reason Paul told us to Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong ~ 1 Corinthians 16:13. He told us this as a warning. The moment you accept Christ as your Savior and leader, the moment you put your faith and trust in Him. The enemy will attack and the enemy knows you better than anyone. After all he's had 31 years to study me and he knew where to hit immediately. So here I stand in front of you letting you know I am now on my guard, I am standing firm in my faith in the Lord and I plan to be the strongest woman of courage I can be knowing that God has my back. If you are in a waiting period remember to plant your feet and stand strong. Remember to know the enemy is the one that wants you to fail and waver but, if you cry out to God He not only hears you He will rescue you He promises us that.

Then you will call, and the LORD will answer; you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I. ~ Isaiah 58:9

To the LORD I cry aloud, and he answers me from his holy hill. Selah ~ Psalm 3:4

He said: "In my distress I called to the LORD, and he answered me. From the depths of the grave I called for help, and you listened to my cry ~ Jonah 2:2

In my distress I called to the LORD; I cried to my God for help. From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came before him, into his ears. ~ Psalm 18:6