My Time in India

is coming to an end

I know a lot of these blog posts have been funny. Some have been serious, and some have just been down right scary (lizards and scorpions anyone?). They have showed my struggles over here and they have showed me attempting to fit in and work things out. Sometimes they even showed a success or two. They fell short in showing the beauty of the land and people. These post couldn't have shown you the whole picture there wasn't enough time.
These posts didn't show the growth I've experienced, the lessons both hard and easy, the lonely nights, the days that flew by. They didn't show the need of the people I saw everyday, the beauty that is hidden if you can just look past the dust. They were unable to show the times I wrestled with my pride, spoke in anger, acted in fear, or spoke in love. They are unable to show the nights that I cried myself to sleep, the hurt that I saw when I looked into our girl's eyes, nor the broken hearts that cried out to God asking why. And they are unable to capture the love of those around me attempting to help them heal.
These posts didn't show the prayers said, the harsh words at God for allowing this to occur, the questions of why me from both the girls and myself. The questions of why India? Why now? These post were unable to show my egotistical thoughts of being able to fix this country and every girl that we got when I first arrived. Nor could they show how quickly God humbled me. They are unable to show the fights I had, the struggles of will, the letting go of pride, the attempt to grasp the whole picture, the letting go and giving it all to God, or the trust I had to put in God. I have learned a great many things here and some of them are too personal to share while others. Well others are things I hope you all can see when I get home.
I no longer have an answer to everything, I no longer believe I can solve every problem on my own. I no longer solely rely on me. I couldn't not here in India where everyday was a struggle. It was a struggle to wake up and face another day, it was a struggle to not give up hope, to not give in, to not lie down and allow myself to get swallowed up in depression.
Now every morning I wake up with renewed grace and just enough strength to get through the day. Everyday I see how all my struggles throughout my life have been for this 6 months. They have made me strong enough to get through this. They have prepared me and sharpen me for this moment so that I would be able to look to the one person that would get me through.
Every time I lay down at night (hot) and exhausted I stare up at the ceiling full of awe of how God works and how he took me through A so that when M presented itself here I would be prepared. I was a teacher in A and now in M I'm a teacher. I was a case manager at B and now in N I am a case manager. I was a supervisor at C now I am supervisor. I went to school to be a counselor at D and now in P I am a counselor.
Needless to say I told you all that to say this. If I knew in January that I would come to India and deal with all of this involved with the home. And all the personal stuff that I would have to struggle with and come to terms with I would've walked away. Now knowing what I know and learning what I've learned I wouldn't miss an opportunity like this for anything.

The people I've met, the friends I've made, the girls that I've been blessed to be around, the lessons I've learned that have been hard and easy, and the experiences I've had have been worth it. It's been worth the lizards, rickshaws, trains, squatty potties, bugs, heat, autos, scary people, lonely nights, tears on my pillow, and rice. They have all taught me more about myself and the strength that only God can provide.
My time is coming to an end here in India and in less than 13 days I will be in Thailand. There I will have a brief time to heal from all the horror stories I've heard about the girls, I will have a chance to be with God alone with no distractions. Once home I will be able to prepare for coming home and facing new challenges. There will be no more dust, no more honking horns, and no more dirty feet. I will be able to rest completely not worrying about a sudden trip to the ER in the middle of the night or a problem at the house. I will be able to carry on a normal conversation that doesn't have to be translated. I will be able to drink water from the tap without the fear of consequences.
And I will finally be able to have a snow-cone or a hamburger.
But oh how I shall miss the eight shinning faces greeting me in the morning asking me Ma'am English? Or just running up for a hug. Or the teasing, the I love yous, the Sara di-di, the laughter, the hokey pokey, the yelling and screaming. I will miss the random gifts made from young hands, the tears as they explain to me their woes in a language I don't understand. I will miss their good mornings and their good nights.
I will miss finding an excuse to run into the office in order to hide out in the A/c. I will miss my friends who laugh at my hiding. I will miss shopping for kurtas, KFC trips, having a coke delivered daily. I will miss Mina asking me if I want Maggi, Hima asking me for English lessons and calling me Sara di-di, I will miss Prodipta joking around with me about the hot dentist or cop that just popped into the house. I will miss Saraba and I discussing America and how different it is from here, but how well she will do when she moves there. I will miss Jordana and I reviewing cases that always lead to personal therapy on ourselves. I will miss Janice constantly popping up with ideas that have to be done right now, and Don saying sure to them all. I will miss the caregivers asking me how I am and then laughing when I say, "ki ko say?" (which is totally spelled wrong but means "What she say?").
I will miss the hot showers that never get cold in the summer and the cold showers that never get hot in the winter. I will miss constantly looking for Fred in the apartment and hoping he didn't eat the dead cockroach since I killed it by spraying it with Hit. I will miss worrying that the Hit I did just kill the cockroach has killed valuable brain cells I may need in the future. I will miss the quiet noise filled nights with honking, shouts, babies crying and drunk men singing. I will miss the too sweet sweets, the bright colors and the never ending hot sun that rises way too early. I will miss the hours of grading papers, the days of writing lesson plans, the long nights of prayers and the constant presence of rice.
I will miss the people begging as I walk, the shy way some few brave ones come up to me to say hi in English. The quick way they then run from me when I answer back. The multi talented way I have learned to walk carrying an umbrella, purse, groceries, back pack, computer, cell phone, and my handy dandy Swiss army knife ready and armed. I will miss the darting in and out of traffic, the fresh mangos, the oohs and awws at the hair salon when they style my hair. I will miss the way the shop owners attempt to impress me by showing me they speak broken English yet then over charge me. I will miss the way I am always called sister when I pass by and how no one ever knows where KS is. I will miss that every time I visit someone they insist on feeding me or giving me tea.
I will miss the photos and being asked to pose with people or being asked to be friends with people on FB. You would think I wouldn't miss these things and yet I do. I know a lot of my post have been funny or scary, however, in reality India has been wonderful. Nicer than even my own country at times. Sure there are frustrations and headaches, weird toilets, and no toilet paper, but that is everywhere. At least here I find that if I just smile it all works itself out.

India I was scared to death of you. Of what you held, what would happen to me, what would become of me. And now I find that I am truly sad to be leaving you. Leaving behind my new sisters (Prodipta, Jordana, Sara Jane, Bulli, Apora, Junali, Audrey, Nancy, Anna, and Hima,) my new brothers Anupam and Jonathon, all my dear friends Janice, Renee, Kelley, Jan and Felicia and my new found aunts and uncles (all the aunties and uncles in Jorhat, Mina, Superjani, and aunties and uncles in Dibrugarh) I will miss you all and I will miss the 7 lovely faces I see everyday.

Man who would've thought leaving would be so hard.

My heart breaks

My heart breaks
everyday another piece is splintered
every story that gets a voice I feel another crack
each time a girl lets a tear slip down her cheek
I hear the crack
They are so young to be this bitter
they are too young to be this angry
too young to know the words hate, fear, pain,
yet they do
and every time I see it reflected in their eyes another
part of my heart breaks

The newest break took a chunk right out
a hole is left and I pray it will be filled
she was 7 when she learned those words
when the bitter and shame filled her
she still plays with dolls yet holds them close
in fear of what happened to her will happen to them
my heart breaks

yet everyday I see a glimpse of something wonderful
I see a smile, a look, a glance
I hear laughter, see dancing, listen to singing
I watch as they color, as they play, as they help one another
each day I watch them grow stronger, I listen to them become louder
day by day the anger seeps away
the bitterness dries up and the joy starts to break through

everyday I walk in I get 8 hugs, 8 shouts of good morning
8 beautiful little girls running up to me to show me what they did last night
every morning I have 4 wonderful girls listening as I teach English
making me cards, doing homework, telling me of their dreams to go to school,
become a doctor, fix things, serve in the army.

Everyday my heart breaks yet everyday a piece is put back in place.
With every smile, every laughter, every song my heart begins to heal.

What in the name of all things holy is that smell...

 

Oh wait its me. Apparently I don't do well in heat. Wasn't sure if any of you were aware of that fact. I can only assume that when one is born in a country that has A/C on from the months of May to October (give or take people give or take) going to a country that does not in fact have A/C in most places that person is going to face issues. One issue I am apparently facing is the fact that I sweat... a ... lot. It is not cool here people. In my apartment it stays around 86 degrees constantly unless we get a rain shower than it drops to 80 and we rejoice. Usually I wake up to 86 and watch as the temps slowly climb to 90+ and then I run to the home at 7 sisters and beg to stand in the office where the A/C is. Needless to say I sweat a lot without applying a whole lot of energy. And when one sweats a lot one tends to have a certain odor.

The sad part of this entire story is that the first few times I smelled the odor I blamed the girls and made them re-bathe... until I realized that it was me. Then I just felt stupid. Seriously I put deodorant on daily and up to 3 times a day so I have no idea why this new stench has occurred nor do I have a way to prevent it. I have gotten to the point I plan my day around showers...

I'm up to at least 3 sometimes 4 a day and when one is in a country where there is a water shortage that is not something one can brag about. Add to it I am starting to suspect that the water that comes out of my shower might be from a well that is either where our rain goes and/or possibly our sewer. Now I know we have sewers that are uncovered along the house and I know our toilets drain directly to said sewers. But where does the water flow to? Because let's think about this if it didn't flow anywhere then it would overflow eventually in the streets (which is why one never walks through a puddle nor does one walk through the flooding of streets when the rains from Monsoon are bad just an FYI tip for you). Yet it doesn't overflow into the streets so where does the water go. And before you go all smarty pants on me keep in mind there are no underground sewers in India or at least in this area I am in. That is why the sidewalks are uneven b/c one lifts up the sidewalk areas to help with flooding which is where the sewer is... Needless to say peps its not that deep the "underground sewer" it is in fact barely 4 feet down. The only water I find in India is in canals which I have to image that is where the sewer ends up otherwise those puppies stink worse than me and that folks is saying something. Although when one passes something in India that stinks one who happens to wear a duppta can in fact cover ones face and smell in the lovely smell of perfume if one remembered to put some on.

So I ask again what in the world am I bathing in?

And if what I think is true I have a feeling I shall never feel clean again until I come home in July. Why oh why do I sit up at night and think of these wonderful mysteries in India?

Scorpions do exist

 

Yep cause lizards, bugs, ants, mosquitoes, spiders as big as your palm, snakes, rats, and cockroaches the size of your foot weren't enough. Let's just go ahead and add in Scorpions. God I hate bugs or insects or whatever the hell you want to call them. And I really hate things that bite, sting, or well are just to big to squash without making a HUGE mess or you know might not squish cause they happen to be bigger than your foot and possibly stronger than your foot and they fly. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD ROACHES FLY. It is a very dangerous world we live in when a roach as big as your foot can fly and will attack when it has been sprayed with Hit AKA Bug killer that makes them go loopy before slowly suffocating the creature to death.

But once again I digress...

Back to the other creatures I shall enlighten you about roaches in another post. Scorpions are exactly like they look like in the books, Wikapedia (which sadly has become my BFF over here in India cause I just don't know as much as I should whilst I am living here and well hell it has all the answers), movies, and well nightmares.

Let me set the stage for you.

I went into the bathroom after a long car ride. Man I was tired all I wanted to do was bathe then go to bed. I shed my clothes I started in on my freezing cold bucket bath. Then realized I still hadn't peed (yes I'm graphic get use to it I have suffered a trauma and my God I just don't care any more). So over to the toilet I sunder thankfully it was Western style and well I did my thing. I slowly got up to look for my towel and saw to my surprise a black thing in the corner where my heel had been pretty darn close to. (FYI close enough it could've struck me seriously not exaggerating at all I was that close to it). Now I had taken my glasses off so I couldn't see that well I reached for my glasses and clothes only to nearly scream as I realized what it was. Refusing to pull another lizard scenario that you all laughed at me about. I calmly got dressed went out of the bathroom and informed my friend that there was a scorpion in the bathroom. To which she replied are you sure? I mean its probably just a spider. "Nope" I responded calmly at her the whole time COMPLETELY FREAKING OUT IN MY HEAD. "I'm pretty sure its a scorpion." She shook her head and walked into the bathroom like whatever this foreigner is cray cray. Then she came flying out said bathroom and said "Oh my God there's a scorpion in the bathroom." Mom you would be proud b/c I did not say nananana see I told you so. Nor did I act superior. I simply nodded my head yes and waited for her brother to dispose of the creature while my friend was freaking out verbally beside me.

Don't get me wrong I was freaking inside my head and I didn't sleep a wink that night b/c I kept seeing the damn things crawling up my bed under my mosquito netting to get me or dropping down from the ceiling to attack. Needless to say God is good and 1. I did not get stung even though I was close enough too and 2. I did not get attacked in the middle of the night.

Needless to say I am a WHOLE HELL OF A LOT MORE CAREFUL. I fully inspect every room, bed, corner, bathroom, shoe, and piece of clothing I put on. And I thank my lucky starts that this is yet one more thing I don't have to worry about in KS.

Update

Hey everyone,
I wanted to give a quick update on where I stand so far. Because of your generous donations I have been able to come over to India and stay for the last 4 months. I have been working with 8 different girls ages 7 to 17. Some of them I help counsel or give advice to the counselor while the others I have the privilege of teaching English to. Each of the girls have a certain learning pattern and it has been a challenge to come up with lessons to reach all 8 and get them caught up in school.

So first and foremost I want to thank you. Thank you for donating to help me these last 4 months and thank you for your prayers while I have been over here. I truly appreciate it. Everyday has been a new lesson discovered and a new joy found. The experiences that I've had so far I wouldn't change for the world. I have had to grow in ways I never imaged I would have to.

I do have a small request however, I am still 2 months away from being able to come home. During that time I am still needing to pay rent, health insurance, electricity, and food cost. So far I spend around 300 a month in those expenses. I am needing help once again. So I am sending out the call for the last time. If you would like to help me with these expenses I would greatly appreciate any and all support. Anything I raise over my monthly use will be donated to the home directly. If you would like to donate to the home instead that would also be appreciated as well they can always use your support! You can find out how to donate here

If you would also take some time to pray for myself and the girls while I am over here that would be a huge help. God is doing wonderful things in these girls lives and everyday I am amazed at how He works.

Thank you again from the bottom of my heart for all your help, your love, your support, and your prayers. I truly appreciate everything you have done.

Side rant....

India is considered the "call center" of the world. And with all those calls coming and going with all that information they need to transmit from locations in US to India you would think something as simple as the internet would actually be good.

Question: So I ask does the internet in really exist or is it a myth?

Answer: Myth

No seriously the internet is practically non-existed here. When it does work it apparently gets hacked regularly according the government here. That does make me slightly concerned cause I realize that computers get hacked but the internet?! I can say I didn't see that one coming. So needless to say after 3 months here I still can't figure out why my internet and skype only work in the back bedroom at 4pm on a night of the full moon.

In other words if I don't get back to you via email or call you via skype its not you its me. And honestly this time I mean it. Internet just hates me and is starting to remind me of the wonderful woman Kharma who also hates me but alas I shall save that tale of woe for another day.

Rice, Rice, and please Lord no more rice

So some of you may know my woes of rice. For those few lucky enough to not hear this complaint I shall try not to come off as spoiled as I apparently am. In India the staple food here is rice. That means that every meal minus breakfast usually has some form of rice with it. The point of rice is the full effect you get after you eat it. I've heard and seen natives eat a WHOLE lot of food, noodles, chicken, rote, and beef only to go home and cook rice because they were hungry. Now don't get me wrong there are numerous ways to cook rice, and even more different flavours, textures and smells that rice have. And yes I am becoming very familiar with rice the differences, the things to look for, how to know if its fresh or not based on smell and etc...

 

So basically at lunch and dinner you are served rice which is considered a dry dish. This means that you will need dal and/or a gravy dish because you can't just eat a dry dish. Just like rice dal and gravy comes in many forms sometimes the gravy or dal is mixed with the chicken, but not usually. Usually you have a another dish of meat. So you eat rice, dal, and chicken for lunch everyday. No joke here and no offense meant when I say this but COME ON. Seriously?!?! Must we have that again? Can we mix it up with pork? What about no dal or rote whatever happened to serving rote? Or, or, or, could we just have some noodles just once? *crickets* No? I guess not.

 

Scary part the other day I had gone almost a week without rice at any meal... and you want to know the crazy part... I missed it?!?! Shocked yeah so was I its not natural I'm telling you. Luckily I got over and I'm now back to wondering if I really care that my rote isn't perfectly round or if I can live with semi-round rote in order to just not have to eat rice at this meal...

God's cruel joke...

Many of you have asked if I can get English movies over here. And yes, yes I can sometimes when I am super lucky (which I'm not very often) I can even get new releases like the new Die Hard movie and Argo (both I enjoyed the first mainly b/c it was in English and I'm a Die Hard junkie the second was actually a really good movie). Of course any English movies you get here or see in the theatre have subtitles in English and if you happen to have ADD like me you might find you watch them more than the actual movie. Then at the end of the movie you start wondering just why in the world was I watching the subtitles I speak English for pete's sake. But alas I digress so back on topic.

God's cruel joke --> For the first 2 months I was here the only movies I could find in English were (and I kid you not) The Mummy and Jurassic Park. That was it. Seriously I couldn't find an English movie that would play on my computer other than those 2. Now don't get me wrong both are really good movies in their own right. Both have a great story, good writing, and an excellent plot. But, seriously for 2 months that was it.

Thank God those 2 months have passed I have since then hooked up with other travellers who have a vast collection of English movies old and really old. Then I downloaded ITunes and now I have an unlimited supply of English movies for the small fortune of 12.99 a pop. Needless to say I own none. I just borrow from ex Pats moving through the area. That will teach you that when one is traveling learning to download movies on a pin drive is a useful thing.

Squatty potties and dirty feet... it explains so much

Warning the following is not for the faint at heart or stomach....

Alright ladies let's discuss the bathroom situation over here in India and why I thank God daily that I can hold my bladder for upwards of 8 hours when needed. Healthy no and I will remedy this when I get back to the good Old US of A, but in the mean time I will hold it as long as it takes to get to a clean western style toilet unless I am absolutely certain I won't find one between point A and point B.

Now you have read the train story I'm sure if not you can read it here first then come back I'll wait. What I left out of that lovely adventure is the picture above AKA the dreaded squatty potties that all trains and most places in India have. Now the few that do have a Western style potty do not stock toilet paper. So it is almost pointless to go to them unless you enjoy being sprayed by water that would put a fireman's hose to shame. Or you learn how to use a cup that has water in it. Of course you can always carry your own toilet paper which is in fact what I have chosen to do here during my stay. I never leave home without! Whose says you have to be a boy scout to always be prepared? My mad toilet skillz would amaze you at best shock you at worse, but I'll leave that up to you to decide as we progress.

So one learns to carry (to quote LOTRs) "my precious" toilet paper everywhere one goes. The train is no exception. Let me walk you through a typical train ride... after one holds their bladder for as long as one can you slowly wiggle your way out of the middle bird, drop down from the top bird or simply stand from the bottom bird (see now you understand why I covet the bottom bird) and slowly make your way through the narrow walk ways to get to the potty that you share with a thousand other people currently on board and who have travelled before you. Cause I'm betting they don't clean the potty at all EVER... (I told you, you have been warned)

As you make your way down to the potty you read a sign that says please do not flush when at station... as you determine why that is you walk into a suspiciously wet floor that is in a small room slightly bigger than an airplane bathroom but a whole lot dirtier. You look down and see a hole in the floor and two skid plates where your feet should go. There is a handle bar to help you squat and to hold on to as the train is a rockin back and forth. There is also a very dirty looking cup filled with what I am only hoping is water.

Now the goal of this is to not get your pants, kurta, dupatta, feet or any part of your body wet with well you know. So you go ahead and roll up your jeans to at least the tops of your knees. You then proceed to place your feet where the anti-slip skids are. Then you squat whilst using the handle bar which happens to be on the left hand side (this is important as you will note that you never take anything from someone nor give anything to someone with your left hand. This is one of the many reason why. The other is due to not having toilet paper)

Now you are going to want to grab on tightly to that handle bar cause as I mentioned before the train is rocking back and forth (to and fro to and fro that's the way the wold rolls) Now once you are in a squat position you are going to need to aim for the hole. If you do not hit the hole you will spray your feet. I am not saying that I've done this or anything per say I'm just asking you to trust me on this little bit of free information. Aim men and Aim women if I knew everyone was aiming as good as me then I wouldn't question the wetness on the floor so much. Aiming is the key to using a squatty potty.

I hope during this whole time you have remembered your toilet paper. I hope you were smart enough to keep it under you chin because at this point digging it out of your pants is not going to happen and using that cup is very questionable. So memo to you always bring toilet paper and carry it under your chin. Next you have to remember while in India you will be wearing a kurta. That is a VERY LONG SHIRT that goes at least to your knees. It does have slits in the side to help but its still very long. So not only do you have to wrestle to keep your pants from touching the "wetness" on the floor you also have to prevent your kurta from touching anything or getting sprayed when you are squatting. 

Personally to help with this I tuck my kurta into my bra or up to my shoulders sometimes under my arms. Then I tie my lovely dupatta (another positive attitribute) around my middle to hold my kurta in place or to tuck my kurta into it or around my shoulder on one side. Either way it does help with the kurta dilemma you will face in this situation.

If you do happen to forget your toilet paper at any point you can use the cup usually beside the squatty potty. I would forgo it on a train but in other less questionable areas it is perfectly acceptable. Now you use the cup by either pouring it down or splashing it up. If you pick to splash it you forfeit your pants and everyone will know how much you struggled with cleaning yourself after using a squatty potty (again not from experience per say just a general observation *throat clears*) On a plus side if you do splash and forfeit your pants your feet become clean. However, you will have to squeak back to your seat/bird/car all while trying to pretend that the water was in fact from you "washing your feet on purpose" and not from missing with the cup and splashing your feet and jeans instead. Again no first hand knowledge of this per say.

Now that was simply a potty on the train if one must do the potty elsewhere like a village or a tourist location it is much easier, but please remember to take your toilet paper and look around. Some places demand you put the paper in a waste bin while others don't have a clue that you are even bringing it in. Also you might want to bring the toilet paper with you if you are visiting as a guest that way you just avoid the whole awkward situation in someone's home. I freely admit if you look in my purse at any given time you will see a roll of toilet paper that I carry with me everywhere I go.

Ladies you have been warned

Oh and PS antibacterial gel is a MUST and VERY handy in those moments after using the potty. Actually its just handy in general since most wash rooms don't have soap to begin with.

Train rides in India... and the joy they encompass

At first it sounds like a heck of a good time. I mean not to sound like Sheldon Cooper or anything, but who doesn't like trains? Especially if its across a country you have never seen to a place you have never been what could be more adventurous I ask you? Then you see this...

 

 

Just playing that isn't what I rode, but a lot of you were thinking it was weren't you? Come on be honest! So it wasn't anything like this, but it was an adventure. First off it is night when one travels across country so that view you were imaging that you might get doesn't happen. It also means that you are now expected to sleep on the train since once again you will be traveling at night and arriving about 2 or 3 in the morning if in fact the train is on time. Now I am not sure if any of you have ever rode on a train during the night or in fact slept on a train so allow me to set the stage for you if I may.

First and foremost you must prepare yourself for the mass exodus/mad dash to either get aboard the train or off the train. EVERYONE and I do mean EVERYONE attempts to get off and on at the same time (when here you face this same situation pretty much everywhere there is not a clearly marked entrance or exit). Now for those of you unfamiliar with a mass exodus/mad dash entrance it involves a whole heck of a lot of pushing, some yelling, then some smashing, followed closely with pulling and shoving. It also includes some choice words in a language you may or may not understand followed closely with a tone that you can't mistake. I promise you the tone and the meaning behind the words was duly noted buddy, duly noted.

Now you may be wondering if that also means you have to fight for your seat because obviously if you are that desperate to get on you surely are in order to get a good seat. That you would in fact have to fight for your seat. Well if that is what you are thinking then you would be wrong. The mad dash and mass exodus is for nothing... absolutely nothing. There is in fact assigned seats. So the mad dash is for no other reason then the simple fact of why not?! We can so we will mentality.

So now that you have fought your way on board, then found your assigned seat, and then stored your luggage underneath your assigned seat you think you can relax and let the adventure occur. That's when it hits you that you actually have to sleep on this thing. This is what your seat looks like at first

Now it depends if you are lucky or not (and let's face it if you have been reading this blog up to this point you have surely figured out that I am not lucky). If you are not me and lucky you will get the bottom bunk/bird. If however, you are me and unlucky in your travels you will either get the middle bird/bunk or the top one.

When they are down and ready for bed this is what they look like...
Now the middle bird is a tricky bird (pun is in fact tended) and when one enters the middle bird one must envision oneself as a worm crawling into a cocoon. All you can really do in this situation is to wiggle on your stomach up to the top and flop down praying those two strappy things that are holding you up in fact do hold you up throughout the shaky night. Now once you are in your bird that's it there will be no sitting and if you were me there will be no going to the bathroom b/c let's face it I had no idea how to get out of the bird once I was in it. And while the whole country of India is smarter than I (b/c they have in fact mastered how to get out of the bird to pee) I was stuck for 6 hours praying that we wouldn't hit anymore ruts in the track.

Now if for some reason you are lucky enough to get the top bird as I was coming back it is much easier to get in and out of. You do not have the added worry of the bird collapsing under your weight and you have the advantage of steps on both sides to climb up and down. The only difficulty one has on the top bird is making the bird up for a nice little sleep. This means that when riding on the top bird you might just find yourself sleeping on vinyl plastic sweating your butt off wishing they had not in fact turned off the air conditioning in an air conditioning car because enough natives complained about how cold it was getting. The whole time wishing you had mastered making a top bunk bed back at camp. *sigh*

Now if the story above sounds like an adventure to you well then all I can say is bully for you. Cause you haven't even asked me what the potty situation is like yet... yep that one is going to be saved for another day needless to say this part is a walk in the park compared to the squatty potty that I had to use on a train. Next time I travel via train I vow to never drink water during my 6 hours and to always, always get the bottom bird.

Side saddle is a sure fire way to die

I know, I know it sounds like fun... well its not. It is in fact scary as hell. You are barely balanced, you can not move in the way your body naturally wants you too (if you do the driver will in fact yell at you in numerous languages) the whole time the above mentioned driver is bobbing and weaving in and out of traffic going speeds I dare not mention for those weak in stature. The whole time he is doing his bobbing and weaving thing you are clinging to the back of the bumper and to his shoulder yelling at him in only one language that isn't suitable for young ears. Then when that doesn't work you resort to threating to haunt him every day of his life if he gets you killed. With the added threat of "and trust me you don't want this voice haunting you everyday until you die!"

Now as if that wasn't all traumatic enough let's add in the wonderful creation known as a dupatta. That just loves to fly in the wind reminding you that if it feels like it, it can and will end your life by getting caught in the wheels. Because it knows that you know there is no way you are letting go of the stupid bike to catch it cause that would be a sure fire way to die as well. You really begin to realize that stupid express caught between a rock and a hard place fits this exact situation. Making you want to know which rock and hard place that person who came up with the expression was in. I bet you it was wearing a dupatta whilst riding side saddle on a freaking bike in India. I would in fact put money on that (no seriously I won't because you know I don't have any).

The dupatta also knows that if you should happen to shift to try and grab it that your driver's wrath will come hard, swift and without warning. He will jerk suddenly to the side. Tell you with measured breath to get off his bike. Then after what I'm sure was counting to 10 tell you to get back on. This time you are to "sit like a man for crying out loud". As you get off you think nope not going to happen I am not getting on this bike again with this person yelling at me and this stupid dupatta choking me and no... screw it I will walk home. Until you realize you have no idea where you are because during the whole ride besides the panic that was building about the fact you just might die as a fatality due to a dupatta you also had your eyes shut praying that the ride would be over as soon as possible and that you wouldn't die being known as the foreigner that choked herself to death.

So with a deep breathe and a prayer you hop back on the dang bike sitting like a man this time with your dupatta firmly tucked under your butt.

Dust storms really do happen and not just in deserts

You do not have to live in a sandy part of the world to experience dust storms. Some that are so bad you feel as if you can't breathe, which is sort of what the above picture looks like. Yes there is a good reason to have a dupatta after all. There is also another good reason to pray for monsoon season then again that surely comes with its own issues. I was going to call this a sand storm and in fact I think I have before until I was informed by a native that, I was in fact being a tad dramatic. Cue my eye roll and pardon me for confusing the two.

Anywho either one is not pleasant nor is it something anyone should ever wish to have to experience. Especially if you are a foreigner and didn't know that A) they really do exist in this part of the world or B) happen to be inside when it hits and just are thankful for the cool breeze coming in through the window. Not thinking that it would also leave behind the destructive caterpillars and dust almost a half inch thick. The dust does tend to coat everything your nicely cleaned floor that you spent way too long sweeping with a hand broom then on your bended knee mopping it by hand. Only to then discovered it is now covered in dust as is your computer, tables and chairs. But by the time you discover this little tid bit it is too late. The bugs are in the dirt is set and locking up your flat to roast in 98 degree weather just feels like plain torture at this point.

So you then face the dilemma do you let the dust continue to gather with the lovely breeze or you can shut up your apartment and clean up the dust. AKA re-cleaning the darn thing that just took you the better part of the morning to clean in the first place. Then after you spend another part of your day re-cleaning b/c let's face it that really is the only option you opt for a very ice cold shower if you can find it and crawl into bed. But before you do (And trust me this step is key) change your sheets.

SORRY

I am sorry everyone for the lack of an update! I swear I am doing well and I have a lot to talk about per usual. Sadly school is standing in my way and our conversation. My last week is next week so after that GAME ON!!! In the meantime please enjoy these Bihu pictures that we did at the home and I think there is even a video and psych no there's not sorry...

 

Facts about caterpillars

Fact 1: not all caterpillars are cute and fuzzy
Fact 2: not all caterpillars smoke pipes and spew riddles to cute little blonde headed girls who follow rabbits down holes.
Fact 3: some caterpillars do in fact bite or leave little hairs all over your bed that might cause a person to break out in large red welts...

Point of fact: the red spots not only hurt but itch like no other. Something else that was not in my Welcome to India hand guide.

Also point of fact: You may find yourself blaming the mosquitos for biting you 15 times on the back of your leg and then wonder how you slept through that onslaught of attacks without waking up or killing them.
Then you discover that little black dot in the middle of your bed that is no bigger than the head of a pin is in fact not a piece of dirt. It is actually the enemy spy that was trapped with you all night inside your mosquito net that is suppose to in fact keep you safe from all harm like lizards and said mosquitos. Instead the mosquito net let you down and allow the enemy to sneak in to slowly torture you to death by making you itch and itch and itch your legs until they are darn near unrecognizable.
Alright, alright maybe its not that drastic but man I itch and my legs look horrible (not that anyone in India can see them since they are covered in HUGE I dream of genie pants) all this is from one tiny little bug that just happened to sneak in during the middle of a sandstorm (and yes I shall write about that at a different time) which I still don't understand how a place that is in the mountains and not desert mountains yet we still get sand storms...

Anywho if you should happen to travel here to the lovely area of Assam please watch out for little black things that look like dirt but are in fact traps that get sprung as soon as delicate flesh touches them. To be safe if you see any black things in bed just wash them in EXTREMELY HOT water and forget about it. It will help you sleep better at night if you don't think about it.










 

Rickshaws saviors or means of death?!

Every now and again I just don't feel like walking... or playing frogger in traffic so on those days which just so happen to coincide with me being cheap, allow force me to ride in a rickshaw. Now before I go any further please know that these guys work hard and get paid very little. Image if you had to carry people and supplies on a bike up and down hills, in and out of traffic for miles on end for less then 50 cents a trip?!?! Now that you realize how much respect I have for anyone who does this for a living, I think it is only fair to let you know how much I hate riding in them...

Please stay with me. Take a look at the picture above, read the article I posted about frogger then come back and finish this one...

There is ABSOLUTELY no protection from traffic here in a rickshaw. In Guawahati there is this unspoken rules about who has the right away... cars are on the top, then buses, trucks, motor bikes, walkers (for those AMC The Walking Dead fans I'm not talking about the dead kind just plain old folks like me trying to cross the street) then sadly comes bicycles. So rickshaws get little to no respect on the streets here.

Now sit in one and image crossing through the said traffic above with people honking at you to move faster yet not letting you in to get across the street. Riding up to you and stopping suddenly sometimes even scrapping the bike... The only thing your driver has in a little bell to warn people he is trying to cross, get through or well move into their lane. As if that wasn't stressful enough, also picture yourself wearing I dream of genie pants that are so big it puts MC Hammer's pants to shame. Then imagine if you will trying to get in and out of the rickshaw that happens to be at least 3 feet off the ground gracefully while not being choked to death with your dupatta or snagging your pants on the bamboo covering. Now you have to make it to the ground without falling or getting caught in anything all while the driver is looking at you like you could stand to loose a few pounds... (working on it buddy seriously).

I keep telling people here that these are death traps. I swear it is not the way I envision leaving this Earth, but every time I am in one I can't help, but think this time, this time just might be it for old Sara Brown. By the time my life is done flashing before my eyes (which is strange cause I don't feel old enough to have a life flashing moment to take so long, but alas apparently I am now... at 30+) the driver is staring at me wondering when I will get out so he can move on. Then wonders if I am going to pay for the damage I caused by clenching his bamboo covering and leaving a dent...

Dupattas how I hate thee

An ode to Dupattas...

You are long (too long by anyone with common sense standards)
You get caught in everything particularly rickshaws, autos, bags, doors and under my thigh
You give thy enemies (and sometimes friends JORDANA as well as Tim) a choking weapon to use against thee
You never cover enough to matter
You're required everytime I leave the house
You stain me when it rains (had hot pink hair for 2 days)
You always try to keep me in the auto or rickshaw when clearly its time to get out
You never stay in place (I think its an attention thing)
You hate when I wear anything else including purses or handbags (its you or nothing)
You're never quite heavy enough to help when I'm cold yet never quite light enough when I'm hot
You refuse to block the sun and in fact help it to burn me in weird patterns
You come in every bright color one can image yet none of them suit me
You wrinkle one day and the day I need you to wrinkle you lay flat...

oh dupattas how I hate thee

We now have 2 wonderful... teenagers

I slightly joke and yet it still amazes me no matter what culture you are in teenagers are teenagers are teenagers.

They act the same, have the same attitude of, I know everything and you know nothing, they laugh at the same stuff, they compete like no other and hate to lose. They are giggly and loud one minute only to be withdrawn and anti-social the next. They pretend not to care what you think, but the moment that you least expect it is when they come to you with their heart on their sleeves wanting love and affection. They hate doing chores, they don't like getting dirty unless they want to, and God forbid you make them eat their veggies.

Yet here I am in India and dealing with all the same issues that I faced back home with the youth kids. We officially have two beautifully tough yet amazingly insecure girls in our home. Both have gone through unspeakable things and yet they still can sit on the floor and color for hours. Watch Tom and Jerry and laugh until their stomachs hurt, draw, paint, play games, talk and eat popcorn endlessly. They are complete opposites and yet inseparable almost as if they know they have similar war stories so they are going to stuck together.

One is loud, demands attention at all times, pouts when she doesn't win, is angry at what has happened to her, demands justice, and draws the most beautiful pictures of flowers I have ever seen. The other is quiet, goes with the flow, doesn't like to upset anyone, won't touch people or like to be touched by people, hates to draw, loves to color, LOVES American music, doesn't care about justice just seeks peace and safety, she only wants to be loved and live free, and sings more beautifully then any person I've ever heard. Yet they both have their moments when they all of the sudden can't understand English, Hindi, or Assamese. They hate eating veggies, don't like chores, can't move fast for anything except popcorn. They desire to only wear their favorite color, giggle and whisper to each other about everyone, pout when they loose and really don't like to be paired with someone who will cause them to loose (AKA me).

Yet today for the first time the one that doesn't like to be touched or to give touched wrapped her arms around me in a hug for just a second. The artist sat down with me for a few hours to draw Mendie on my hand. They both shared their precious popcorn with me last night during the Hindi version of Shrek 2 and insisted I eat my share. Asked me to read them the same story about a stork and a fox over and over and over again. Learned the cupid shuffle then danced it with me a million times and patiently played badminton with me for an hour.

Needless to say I have 2 teenage girls teaching me patience, laughter, humility, compassion and kindness. Most importantly they are teaching me how to love them completely with the attitudes, scars, hurts and bruises. They are showing me how much I can do simply by dancing the same dance a million times over. Every moment that I share with them is more of a blessing then I had ever hoped for.

Thanks!!

HELP

 

A lot of you have been sending me emails asking how you can help me. Right now I am still needing the following expenses:

 

Airplane Ticket home is $1200

Health Insurance a month is $120

Rent is $80 a month

Electricity is $40 a month

 

Right now I have all I need for March, but could use help in April, May, June and July.
Other ways you can help without donating is to pray for the girl we currently have and any new girls we will be receiving. Right now our current struggle in the house is finding enough activities for the them to do that are fun yet still learning.

 

We are also struggling to get into the flow of things here as a group

 

And we really need prayers for the water shortage we are currently facing. Our well in the back yard has run dry and we have no water. So we are paying daily for fresh water to be brought to the home. You can help this situation by donating directly to 7Sisters International. Their donation page is here

 

Again THANK YOU all for everything you have already done I can't express in words how much it means to me. Love you all and will continue to update as things occur here. God has done amazing things and I look forward to seeing more of the things He has in store.

 

We have a girl

So it is official we have our first girl. Things were hetic around here as she arrived. But she has arrived and with her three more are suppose to come next week. We are very excited and I will report more as the home expands!!!

Oh and here is a side story if you are interested in some of the things we are dealing with here in India you can check out the article here.

Bucket Baths an experience to not be forgotten



We have recently reached a water crisis here at the 7 Sisters home. We have little to no water. Really think about that for a moment. In America we never have this issue unless a pipe breaks or there has been a contamination. If those events happen we have crews that fix the situation as quickly as possible. Not so in India. Most people have a well and when the pump goes out (which is what has happened at the home) we have to pay to have water shipped in. Most people can't afford to have it shipped in.

At the 7 Sisters home we are blessed enough to have filtered water to drink and tap water to bathe from that is hot and has a shower head. (Many Indians laugh when I tell them this because they are just so use to bathing from a bucket.) When the water runs low however, a bucket bath is called for. So the other day I desperately needed to shower (its getting hot here now and well showers are a must). I thought oh I can do a bucket bath it will be easy and will save water. No biggie I can handle this... yep not so. Not even close. It was cold for starters apparently there are different ways to heat up the water I had access to none. The amount of water is less than I normally bathe with so washing my hair and body with the same bucket took some planning. Planning that I didn't realize until I was almost out of water. Needless to say I was freezing, half wet, and still dirty when I realized just how truly blessed we are in America.

Since then I have now moved into my apartment that does in fact have a shower head. But, my experience with a bucket bath will not soon be forgotten.