I am reading a devotional (actually take that back I am reading a ton of them) the current one I am reading is the same one I read overseas that for some reason just really spoke to me while I was over there. It is called Streams in the Desert and boy howdy does it still speak here.
Right now I am an a desert period of life. School is ending and there is no job in sight. Read that again because while it might not seem major to some of you it is a BIG deal to me. Let me set up the story for you so that you can understand.
I have ALWAYS worked... always. Yes there have been breaks in between during transitions, life, or just searching moments. They have never lasted longer then a few months at most. This period of my life (going back to school) for 3 years has been the longest I have gone without a job. And even during those 3 months I still managed to work off and on in retail. Now here I am getting ready to graduate from a program in less then 3 weeks (yes I am sensing the theme) and I still have no job interviews, no job in mind, and no direction from God.
To say that I am freaking out is putting it mildly. To say that I was getting mad at God for not preparing me for this is also putting it mildly. I mean how can you call me to go back to school to give up so much, to go to India all to come back to this. No job, no career in sight, no hope, and no money (which sadly I do need to provide for not only myself but mom).
Then it hit me (and may I just add that when God hits me with how ungrateful I am He never does it gently. Fine, fine yes He does b/c He unlike me is a gentleman who doesn't want me knocked out, but severely humbled. Anyway I digress) as I read this..
O believer, what a glorious assurance this verse is! What confidence I have because "the way I take" - this way of trials and tears, however winding, hidden, or tangled - "He knows!"! There is an almighty Guide who knows and directs my steps, whether they lead to the bitter water at the well of Marah or to the joy and refreshment of the oasis at Elim (Ex. 15:23, 27). The furnace may be hot, but not only can I trust the hand that lights the fire, I can also have the assurance the fire will not consume but only refine. When I feel God is the farthest away, He is often the nearest to me. "When my spirit grows faint within me, it is you who know my way" (Ps. 142:3).
And if that wasn't enough here is the nail that sealed my "shut your mouth" argument...
The pain would be removed from many an agonizing trial if only I could see what Job saw during his time of severe affliction, when all earthly hope lay dashed at his feet. He saw nothing bu the hand of God - God's hand behind the swords who attacked his servants and cattle, and behind the devastating lightning; God's hand giving wings to the mighty desert winds, which swept away his children: and God's hand in the dreadful silence of his shattered om. Thus, seeing God in everything, Job could say, "The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised" (Job 1:21).
Check mate.
Point taken.
I really would do better to listen to the advice I deal out regularly to the women I serve daily.
Needless to say this was my come to Jesus moment regarding once again "oh yeah of little faith, why did you doubt?" (Matt. 14:31) moment.
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I also hate when other devotionals tie into my lesson as if I didn't get it once (trust when I say I don't) so He makes sure to drive home the point...
This one is from Sarah Young's Jesus Calling for today
Listen to Me continually (let's just clear the record right now and state that I don't). I have much to communicate to you, so many people and situations in need of prayer (guilt). I am training you to set your mind on Me more and more, tuning out distractions through the help of My Spirit. (something that I desperately need to work on not just to hear You but in general to focus on You so that I can experience that peace that comes from that focus).
Walk with Me in holy trust (and why I don't is baffling you have never let me down thus far), responding to My initiatives rather than trying to make things fit your plans (guilty as charged. You never seem to work on my time table AT ALL and it does frustrate me). I died to set you free, and that includes freedom from compulsive planning (never looked at it this way). When your mind spins with a multitude of thoughts, you cannot hear My voice (sadly that makes more sense then I am wanting to admit to). A mind preoccupied with planning pays homage to the idol of control (crap I knew it was going to come back to that. It always comes back to that for me. I am starting to think my biggest sin is control not pride although to be honest I think they go hand in hand). Turn away from idolatry back to ME (fair enough! Please forgive me from this). Listen to Me and live abundantly!
Right now I am an a desert period of life. School is ending and there is no job in sight. Read that again because while it might not seem major to some of you it is a BIG deal to me. Let me set up the story for you so that you can understand.
I have ALWAYS worked... always. Yes there have been breaks in between during transitions, life, or just searching moments. They have never lasted longer then a few months at most. This period of my life (going back to school) for 3 years has been the longest I have gone without a job. And even during those 3 months I still managed to work off and on in retail. Now here I am getting ready to graduate from a program in less then 3 weeks (yes I am sensing the theme) and I still have no job interviews, no job in mind, and no direction from God.
To say that I am freaking out is putting it mildly. To say that I was getting mad at God for not preparing me for this is also putting it mildly. I mean how can you call me to go back to school to give up so much, to go to India all to come back to this. No job, no career in sight, no hope, and no money (which sadly I do need to provide for not only myself but mom).
Then it hit me (and may I just add that when God hits me with how ungrateful I am He never does it gently. Fine, fine yes He does b/c He unlike me is a gentleman who doesn't want me knocked out, but severely humbled. Anyway I digress) as I read this..
O believer, what a glorious assurance this verse is! What confidence I have because "the way I take" - this way of trials and tears, however winding, hidden, or tangled - "He knows!"! There is an almighty Guide who knows and directs my steps, whether they lead to the bitter water at the well of Marah or to the joy and refreshment of the oasis at Elim (Ex. 15:23, 27). The furnace may be hot, but not only can I trust the hand that lights the fire, I can also have the assurance the fire will not consume but only refine. When I feel God is the farthest away, He is often the nearest to me. "When my spirit grows faint within me, it is you who know my way" (Ps. 142:3).
And if that wasn't enough here is the nail that sealed my "shut your mouth" argument...
The pain would be removed from many an agonizing trial if only I could see what Job saw during his time of severe affliction, when all earthly hope lay dashed at his feet. He saw nothing bu the hand of God - God's hand behind the swords who attacked his servants and cattle, and behind the devastating lightning; God's hand giving wings to the mighty desert winds, which swept away his children: and God's hand in the dreadful silence of his shattered om. Thus, seeing God in everything, Job could say, "The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised" (Job 1:21).
Check mate.
Point taken.
I really would do better to listen to the advice I deal out regularly to the women I serve daily.
Needless to say this was my come to Jesus moment regarding once again "oh yeah of little faith, why did you doubt?" (Matt. 14:31) moment.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I also hate when other devotionals tie into my lesson as if I didn't get it once (trust when I say I don't) so He makes sure to drive home the point...
This one is from Sarah Young's Jesus Calling for today
Listen to Me continually (let's just clear the record right now and state that I don't). I have much to communicate to you, so many people and situations in need of prayer (guilt). I am training you to set your mind on Me more and more, tuning out distractions through the help of My Spirit. (something that I desperately need to work on not just to hear You but in general to focus on You so that I can experience that peace that comes from that focus).
Walk with Me in holy trust (and why I don't is baffling you have never let me down thus far), responding to My initiatives rather than trying to make things fit your plans (guilty as charged. You never seem to work on my time table AT ALL and it does frustrate me). I died to set you free, and that includes freedom from compulsive planning (never looked at it this way). When your mind spins with a multitude of thoughts, you cannot hear My voice (sadly that makes more sense then I am wanting to admit to). A mind preoccupied with planning pays homage to the idol of control (crap I knew it was going to come back to that. It always comes back to that for me. I am starting to think my biggest sin is control not pride although to be honest I think they go hand in hand). Turn away from idolatry back to ME (fair enough! Please forgive me from this). Listen to Me and live abundantly!
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