Do you recall frogger? I remember playing it on the Atari when I was a kid and loved it. I also remember what happed to Ms. Frogger (hey I was ahead of my time as a kid FEMALE POWER *clear throat* any way moving on) looked like when she didn't make it through the traffic . The scene where Ms. Frogger gets squished is fresh on my mind and flashes regularly as I attempt to cross the street here in India. As well as the GAME OVER and the dog that pops up laughing at you that you can't shoot no matter how many times you try (yes different game, but he still makes an appearance in my nightmares).
But I digress, needless to say the picture above is the only way to describe walking in Guwahati unless... you play the mind sweeper that's what walking on the sidewalks are like. When walking on the them you are constantly alert for men peeing against a wall, dog poop, cow poop, hell cat and bird poop, men spitting, people cleaning their mouths out with water and spitting, merchants selling things, beggars begging for things, and let us not forget the Hindu priest threating you or maybe blessing you or heck maybe he's just schizophrenic talking behind you, beside you and in front of you.
As if all that wasn't enough you get to add in broken sidewalks, pieces of sidewalk that move (they remove them during monsoon season)pieces of sidewalks that just don't fit together, rocks, sand and the random bump in the sidewalk that I swear is there just to make sure you are paying attention when walking.
Everyone is like oh let's walk here that way you can learn your way around... Uh no seriously?!?! How does anyone know where they are? Half the time I am looking down to avoid the above mentioned landmines that I don't get to see anything other than the occasional roach that is bigger than my foot or a random lizard. Hell the only time I ever look up when walking is if I become the unwilling participate in the game of frogger mentioned above. And then I find I randomly will grab people's hands to make sure if I get flattened they do too!
So dear friends when in India you have 2 choices. You can either walk like an Indian and force yourself to not care when you trip or stumble. Or you can walk like this ex pat and never see any scenery until you stop to catch your breath or stop to give yourself the pep talk needed to run across the street yelling the whole time "I will not be the dead frog I WILL NOT BE THE DEAD FROG". If you take the latter approach please note that people will not only stare (they do that no matter what) but they will also laugh nervously and walk quickly away from you.
I have sadly reached the point where I just bum rides from other people or ask the girls to walk me places ;)
Good luck!
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