Philippians 3:13-14

Brother, I  do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead. I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. ~ Philippians 3:13-14

How many of us have things in our past to which we would like to forget to move pass. I know I am one of those people who would love more than anything to forget the past and never talk about it again. Maybe that is why I love these verses so much. Paul was a man of single purpose. He had one aim and one ambition...

forgetting what is behind ~ this would mean not only forgetting his sins and failures (another thing I would like to forget), but it also hints at forgetting his natural privileges, attainments, and successes as well as his spiritual triumphs. See it is easy for us to simply forget our mistakes or at least hide them, but how many of us would be willing to give up our spiritual successes and privileges in order to strain toward what is ahead? In order to reach the what is up ahead and in store for us around the next bend in life we have to forget what is behind us moving only forward straining to get the goodness that God has in store for us in the future.

I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus ~ looking at himself as a runner in a race Paul describes himself as exerting every effort towards the goal for the prize of the upward call of God. Can we say the same? I know there are few things in life that I exert myself for and very rarely is the goal of the upward call of Christ.

Now I know some would ask well what is the goal and prize. In 2 Timothy 4:7 (a verse I pray that someone will read at my own funeral and know that they are speaking the truth) I have fought the good fight I have finished the race I have kept the faith now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness. The goal is the finish line of the race. The goal is to live such a life others want to run behind you to reach for that glory and love they see shining through you. The goal is to live a life so much like Christ people ask you about him everyday.

My goal today and everyday forth is to run that race with the same passion and exertion that Paul demonstrates to us in this verse. To press on to the finish line without looking to the past and allowing it to weigh me down. My prayer for you is the same it is time to forget what is behind and press on towards the goal step by step one foot in front of the other until we reach the finish line.
 

Ephesians 1:3

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ ~ Ephesians 1:3

We learn from this verse that everything God is ever going to do for us, He has already done. Every spiritual blessing is already located in this unseen realm. Every promise God has made and plans to fulfill on your behalf, every gift you will ever receive, and every hope that will ever be satisfied has already been deposited in your account in the spiritual realm. God has "blessed us with every spiritual blessings in the heavenly places in Christ." Your blessings and victory are already located there with your name written on them, waiting for you to grab them, use them, and walk in them.

I just love the book of Ephesians. And can honestly say it is a book of hope for me in this book we learn so much from spiritual blessings to the full armor of God and how to use it when we need it. Look at what we learn in the first 3 chapters,
We are:
chosen predestined
adopted as sons
accepted in the Beloved
redeemed through His blood
Forgiven
sealed with the Holy Spirit
given the earnest of our inheritance

How can you not love this book? What's your favorite book or scripture which chapter do you find yourself turning to the most when you need that Spiritual pick me up?

Matthew 6:6

But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father who is unseen. Then your Father who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. ~ Matthew 6:6

 

"When you pray" --> no specific time nor instructions on when we are to pray. It does however, tell us that it is expected that we will pray. Jesus states that when you pray which implies that he expects us to be praying.

"go into your inner room" --> Location was not he point of this verse. It was not telling us to build a special place that we pray in or go to that location and location only when pray but what it is talking about here is the attitude of our prayers. Find a place that you can go to in order to talk to God without the temptation of showing off in your prayers or making them wordy.

"shut the door" --> Close out all distractions so that you can focus and completely concentrate on God and pray to Him and Him alone.

The most important secret He sees is not the words we say in the privacy of our room but the thoughts we have in the privacy of our hearts. Prayer that is thoughtless and detached is offensive to God and should be offensive to us as well.

Prayer more than anything else is sharing the needs, burdens, and hungers of our hearts with a  God who cares...
In other words it is time to talk to God share with him everything share with him the desires and wants of your heart go to Him in faith and know that he is listening....

*Prayer notes during a sermon I heard overseas*
 

For Women ~ I hope this helps as it helped me thru a rough patch

I chose you before I formed you in the womb; I set you apart before you were born. I appointed you a prophet to the nations ~ Jeremiah 1:5

Pay close attention to these 3 main points:
1. I chose you
2. I set you apart
3. I appointed you

You are a woman chosen, a woman set apart and a woman appointed. You are not here by accident in this moment. It is no mistake that you are living right now with your won set of circumstances, dealing with your specific set of issues, all while working within your personalized set of skills and abilities.

God has made you  and has placed you here... on purpose.

1. He chose you. You are involved in a divinely designed, carefully calculated, and eternally significant plan. For reason you may not fully understand or even agree with, God selected you as His own. His choice of you was based on a deep, intimate knowledge of who you are. So even if you can not fathom why God would choose a person like you to participate in a particular activity, He Himself is well aware of His reasons. He has selected you, and everything about you, to participate in the work He is doing at this point in history. God's choice of you for this leg of the marathon was by design.
Not because it has accidentally happened like this but because you have been known and Chosen by the Coach who sees you as uniquely suited, equipped, and capable of carrying out such amazing plans with such intricate precision.

You did not choose Me, but I chose you ~ John 15:16
if we're ever to live out the plans He has for us. Your value, like mine, is ultimately found in the underserved but wholly divine selection processes of God.

2.  He set you apart. Being "set apart" carries the idea of being dedicated for a specific use at a specific time, being reserved for those opportunities when (and how and where) you can best be used, when you can most be yourself. You are a holy vessel of God, set apart for specific times when the uniqueness you offer can be fully used and valued "a special instrument, set apart, useful to the Master ~ 2 Timothy 2:21
We were each created by a God to do our part. And if we fail to do it because we don't its valuable enough, great loss will be suffered. Someone, somewhere, needs YOU - in all of your uniqueness - to step up to the plate of your calling.

Rather than seeking to impress and outperform others, and rather than feeling ashamed by what you don't have and can't do, relish the opportunity to stand as a living, walking, eating, breathing example of what God's grace can do with a woman He has set apart, weaknesses and all, to be a sacred vessel in His service. You are a purposeful place setting.

3. He has appointed you.  Being chosen and set apart is quite an honor, but make no mistake - it comes with great responsibility. Among the reason God chose you was to put you in a position to yield specific outcomes in your personal life situations. You did not choose Me, but I chose you. I appointed you that you should go out and produce fruit ~ John 15:16

Therefore, you can trust that He has planted you right now in the place where you will be the most personally productive. Even if you are not inherently pleased with the person He's made you to be, even if you may not be abundantly happy with the circumstances you're currently living, you can be sure that God has planted you here with design and intention.

He has selected the "soil" where you're presently growing. Every kind of season and weather you experience has had to pass through HIs fingers before coming into contact with you. It's all been divinely designed to surround you with the conditions that allow your unique gifts and abilities to reach maximum potential. To grow. To yield. To produce.
Your seeds are designed to produce a crop that's uniquely yours. So there's no point in trying to produce fruit that is someone else's to grow. Your job at any given moment is to bring all your gifts, all your talents, all your propensities and all your passions into this thing called life and believe that they are good enough to produce the fruit that is expected of you.

Trust Him. He knows you, He has special plans for you.

I don't know all the things you're struggling with at this moment as you strive to attain a healthier self image. But I know that the only way to experience it is to fall back into the genuine, authentic reality of your value in God's eyes - the One who chose you, set you apart, and appointed you to bear fruit. He has loved you enough to make you like no other, and He's given you a task that is yours alone to complete with His abundant help and empowerment.

***All this was taken from Priscilla Shirer's The Resolution for Women. All credit is due to her and her alone. I only shared this because myself and my dear friends struggle with self-esteem issues and this really struck a cord with me. My prayer is it struck a cord with you. Please pick up this book it will empower you to resolve to being the woman God created you to be ***

My Time in India

is coming to an end

I know a lot of these blog posts have been funny. Some have been serious, and some have just been down right scary (lizards and scorpions anyone?). They have showed my struggles over here and they have showed me attempting to fit in and work things out. Sometimes they even showed a success or two. They fell short in showing the beauty of the land and people. These post couldn't have shown you the whole picture there wasn't enough time.
These posts didn't show the growth I've experienced, the lessons both hard and easy, the lonely nights, the days that flew by. They didn't show the need of the people I saw everyday, the beauty that is hidden if you can just look past the dust. They were unable to show the times I wrestled with my pride, spoke in anger, acted in fear, or spoke in love. They are unable to show the nights that I cried myself to sleep, the hurt that I saw when I looked into our girl's eyes, nor the broken hearts that cried out to God asking why. And they are unable to capture the love of those around me attempting to help them heal.
These posts didn't show the prayers said, the harsh words at God for allowing this to occur, the questions of why me from both the girls and myself. The questions of why India? Why now? These post were unable to show my egotistical thoughts of being able to fix this country and every girl that we got when I first arrived. Nor could they show how quickly God humbled me. They are unable to show the fights I had, the struggles of will, the letting go of pride, the attempt to grasp the whole picture, the letting go and giving it all to God, or the trust I had to put in God. I have learned a great many things here and some of them are too personal to share while others. Well others are things I hope you all can see when I get home.
I no longer have an answer to everything, I no longer believe I can solve every problem on my own. I no longer solely rely on me. I couldn't not here in India where everyday was a struggle. It was a struggle to wake up and face another day, it was a struggle to not give up hope, to not give in, to not lie down and allow myself to get swallowed up in depression.
Now every morning I wake up with renewed grace and just enough strength to get through the day. Everyday I see how all my struggles throughout my life have been for this 6 months. They have made me strong enough to get through this. They have prepared me and sharpen me for this moment so that I would be able to look to the one person that would get me through.
Every time I lay down at night (hot) and exhausted I stare up at the ceiling full of awe of how God works and how he took me through A so that when M presented itself here I would be prepared. I was a teacher in A and now in M I'm a teacher. I was a case manager at B and now in N I am a case manager. I was a supervisor at C now I am supervisor. I went to school to be a counselor at D and now in P I am a counselor.
Needless to say I told you all that to say this. If I knew in January that I would come to India and deal with all of this involved with the home. And all the personal stuff that I would have to struggle with and come to terms with I would've walked away. Now knowing what I know and learning what I've learned I wouldn't miss an opportunity like this for anything.

The people I've met, the friends I've made, the girls that I've been blessed to be around, the lessons I've learned that have been hard and easy, and the experiences I've had have been worth it. It's been worth the lizards, rickshaws, trains, squatty potties, bugs, heat, autos, scary people, lonely nights, tears on my pillow, and rice. They have all taught me more about myself and the strength that only God can provide.
My time is coming to an end here in India and in less than 13 days I will be in Thailand. There I will have a brief time to heal from all the horror stories I've heard about the girls, I will have a chance to be with God alone with no distractions. Once home I will be able to prepare for coming home and facing new challenges. There will be no more dust, no more honking horns, and no more dirty feet. I will be able to rest completely not worrying about a sudden trip to the ER in the middle of the night or a problem at the house. I will be able to carry on a normal conversation that doesn't have to be translated. I will be able to drink water from the tap without the fear of consequences.
And I will finally be able to have a snow-cone or a hamburger.
But oh how I shall miss the eight shinning faces greeting me in the morning asking me Ma'am English? Or just running up for a hug. Or the teasing, the I love yous, the Sara di-di, the laughter, the hokey pokey, the yelling and screaming. I will miss the random gifts made from young hands, the tears as they explain to me their woes in a language I don't understand. I will miss their good mornings and their good nights.
I will miss finding an excuse to run into the office in order to hide out in the A/c. I will miss my friends who laugh at my hiding. I will miss shopping for kurtas, KFC trips, having a coke delivered daily. I will miss Mina asking me if I want Maggi, Hima asking me for English lessons and calling me Sara di-di, I will miss Prodipta joking around with me about the hot dentist or cop that just popped into the house. I will miss Saraba and I discussing America and how different it is from here, but how well she will do when she moves there. I will miss Jordana and I reviewing cases that always lead to personal therapy on ourselves. I will miss Janice constantly popping up with ideas that have to be done right now, and Don saying sure to them all. I will miss the caregivers asking me how I am and then laughing when I say, "ki ko say?" (which is totally spelled wrong but means "What she say?").
I will miss the hot showers that never get cold in the summer and the cold showers that never get hot in the winter. I will miss constantly looking for Fred in the apartment and hoping he didn't eat the dead cockroach since I killed it by spraying it with Hit. I will miss worrying that the Hit I did just kill the cockroach has killed valuable brain cells I may need in the future. I will miss the quiet noise filled nights with honking, shouts, babies crying and drunk men singing. I will miss the too sweet sweets, the bright colors and the never ending hot sun that rises way too early. I will miss the hours of grading papers, the days of writing lesson plans, the long nights of prayers and the constant presence of rice.
I will miss the people begging as I walk, the shy way some few brave ones come up to me to say hi in English. The quick way they then run from me when I answer back. The multi talented way I have learned to walk carrying an umbrella, purse, groceries, back pack, computer, cell phone, and my handy dandy Swiss army knife ready and armed. I will miss the darting in and out of traffic, the fresh mangos, the oohs and awws at the hair salon when they style my hair. I will miss the way the shop owners attempt to impress me by showing me they speak broken English yet then over charge me. I will miss the way I am always called sister when I pass by and how no one ever knows where KS is. I will miss that every time I visit someone they insist on feeding me or giving me tea.
I will miss the photos and being asked to pose with people or being asked to be friends with people on FB. You would think I wouldn't miss these things and yet I do. I know a lot of my post have been funny or scary, however, in reality India has been wonderful. Nicer than even my own country at times. Sure there are frustrations and headaches, weird toilets, and no toilet paper, but that is everywhere. At least here I find that if I just smile it all works itself out.

India I was scared to death of you. Of what you held, what would happen to me, what would become of me. And now I find that I am truly sad to be leaving you. Leaving behind my new sisters (Prodipta, Jordana, Sara Jane, Bulli, Apora, Junali, Audrey, Nancy, Anna, and Hima,) my new brothers Anupam and Jonathon, all my dear friends Janice, Renee, Kelley, Jan and Felicia and my new found aunts and uncles (all the aunties and uncles in Jorhat, Mina, Superjani, and aunties and uncles in Dibrugarh) I will miss you all and I will miss the 7 lovely faces I see everyday.

Man who would've thought leaving would be so hard.

A prayer

Lord Father,
Thank you for all that you have given me. For all the things I do not deserve, for all the blessing you have blessed me with, for all the love you surround me with. I want to thank you. Lord Father I know that you have me here running a race and that race has a goal and I thank you for entrusting me with it. I ask Lord Father that you continue to help me to keep running the good race (Gal. 5:7) Lord Father. To help me forget my past and strain towards what is ahead. Lord Father help me to press towards Your goal Lord Father (Phil 3:13b-14).
Help me Lord Father to live a life so full of faith that I can say when I stand before you that I fought the good fight, I have finished the race, and I have kept the faith Lord Father (2 Tim 4:7). Lord Father I ask that you help me to continue to run this race with the perseverance that is needed to complete it to Your satisfaction.  This is the race you have marked out for me (Hebrews 12:1b). Lord Father I ask for Your help to give me the strength not to just keep running it Lord Father, but to keep running it with a smile on my face. Lord Father, I know that you have great plans for me (Jer 29:11) and I just ask Lord Father that You help me to not run like a man running aimlessly (1 Cor. 9:26), but to run with a purpose in mind. Your purpose Lord Father. Let everything I do be for Your glory Lord Father and for Your honor. Please continue to guide me in your way Lord Father. I ask all these things in Your name Lord Father.

Amen

Always good to see

when one's English lessons are paying off. So glad to know the girls are paying attention in class. #headdesk

My heart breaks

My heart breaks
everyday another piece is splintered
every story that gets a voice I feel another crack
each time a girl lets a tear slip down her cheek
I hear the crack
They are so young to be this bitter
they are too young to be this angry
too young to know the words hate, fear, pain,
yet they do
and every time I see it reflected in their eyes another
part of my heart breaks

The newest break took a chunk right out
a hole is left and I pray it will be filled
she was 7 when she learned those words
when the bitter and shame filled her
she still plays with dolls yet holds them close
in fear of what happened to her will happen to them
my heart breaks

yet everyday I see a glimpse of something wonderful
I see a smile, a look, a glance
I hear laughter, see dancing, listen to singing
I watch as they color, as they play, as they help one another
each day I watch them grow stronger, I listen to them become louder
day by day the anger seeps away
the bitterness dries up and the joy starts to break through

everyday I walk in I get 8 hugs, 8 shouts of good morning
8 beautiful little girls running up to me to show me what they did last night
every morning I have 4 wonderful girls listening as I teach English
making me cards, doing homework, telling me of their dreams to go to school,
become a doctor, fix things, serve in the army.

Everyday my heart breaks yet everyday a piece is put back in place.
With every smile, every laughter, every song my heart begins to heal.

Bihu the gift that keeps on giving...

Some of you may have seen the pictures, if not you can see them here, I posted of a Bihu celebration that we celebrated in the home. That celebration happened back in April. As of the 2nd week in May there were still Bihu celebrations occurring. When Indians celebrate Spring they really, really go all out. I would love to tell you what Bihu is really about, but alas I can't. Mainly because I am still uncertain as to what exactly we are celebrating for so long. I think it has something to do with spring, dressing up, fireworks, love, singing and dancing. Other than that and what Wikapedia tells me I still don't get it.

I still don't understand the words to the songs nor the steps to the dances. I don't undertand why the fireworks go off for 30 minuts right as I am drifting off into a nice peaceful dream that either includes scenes from LOTRs, SGA or Zach Levi. I don't get why the drums are so loud and the singing last until all hours of the night in a high pitched voice.

That being said the people here apparently love all that I don't understand. They love the music, the dancing, the dressing up. The love the sales, the random groups of dancers that come house to house asking for money in order to dance. They love the fireworks, and the food.

So apparently Bihu is something that is deeply important to the Assamese people and while I may not completely understand it. I have to admit I admire their dedication to it. I admire how serious they take it, how much they enjoy it, and the simple fact that they want to celebrate it.

Thankfully as I am writing this one I can say the celebrations have officially ended here in Assam for at least another month or two. For I was just informed there are 4 different Bihus... and to that I say bring on the drums, dancing, dressing up, singing, and food. Cause when in Assam I say do like an Assamese person would do. Bring on the Bihu.

God's little wake up calls... AKA Earthquakes

EARTHQUAKE

 

First and foremost for those who do not know I'm from Kansas y'all. Seriously we don't have earthquakes. If the ground is shaking its due to a really good concert, a cattle drive b/c hey we sometimes reenact things, a car that is in need of some serious work, a car with too much bass, or a tornado. And hey if its anything but the last we just shake it off and keep on moving. WE DO NOT DO NOR UNDERSTAND EARTHQUAKES. We do not understand people on the West coast who would rather have earthquakes over tornadoes. 8 times out of 10 you have a warning with a tornado it may not help but at least you get some warning. There is no warning with earthquakes. Let me repeat that in case you missed why this KS girl was freaking out... THERE IS NO WARNING WITH EARTHQUAKES.

One does not wake from a dead sleep with the apartment swaying back and forth the bed shaking so much you believe it was your flatmate trying to wake you up. Until you realize it isn't her cause you lock your freaking door at night. It is in fact the blessed ground moving and swaying the apartment too and fro. The ground should not move like that for any reason EVER (other than the above mentioned situations all of which I can handle with calm and dignity). What really disturbs me is the fact I was the only one freaking out. Oh it was just a 7.6 Sara no big deal... SERIOUSLY do you not understand what a ground shaking earthquake of that magnitude can do?

 

And not to change the subject but am I the only one who finds it mildly disturbing that I just now learned we have an earthquake survival kit. If its not that big of a deal why do I need a survival kit? Huh smart butt explain that? If it is not so big of a deal then why did God need me to wake up at 7ish in the morning? Obviously he wanted my attention and knew this would surely do it. (PS for those of you wondering I did in fact wake up. I did in fact call out for my flatmate and when I discovered she was still sleeping I called out to God. When he didn't answer me with anything super important I managed to make it to the bathroom and then well I did the only human thing I could. I went back to sleep until my alarm went off at 8).

Needless to say this KS girl is going to be happy to come home to a place where the earth rarely if ever shakes (please, please, please let this statement be true and not a way to jinx nor challenge God into making things interesting when I get home).

What in the name of all things holy is that smell...

 

Oh wait its me. Apparently I don't do well in heat. Wasn't sure if any of you were aware of that fact. I can only assume that when one is born in a country that has A/C on from the months of May to October (give or take people give or take) going to a country that does not in fact have A/C in most places that person is going to face issues. One issue I am apparently facing is the fact that I sweat... a ... lot. It is not cool here people. In my apartment it stays around 86 degrees constantly unless we get a rain shower than it drops to 80 and we rejoice. Usually I wake up to 86 and watch as the temps slowly climb to 90+ and then I run to the home at 7 sisters and beg to stand in the office where the A/C is. Needless to say I sweat a lot without applying a whole lot of energy. And when one sweats a lot one tends to have a certain odor.

The sad part of this entire story is that the first few times I smelled the odor I blamed the girls and made them re-bathe... until I realized that it was me. Then I just felt stupid. Seriously I put deodorant on daily and up to 3 times a day so I have no idea why this new stench has occurred nor do I have a way to prevent it. I have gotten to the point I plan my day around showers...

I'm up to at least 3 sometimes 4 a day and when one is in a country where there is a water shortage that is not something one can brag about. Add to it I am starting to suspect that the water that comes out of my shower might be from a well that is either where our rain goes and/or possibly our sewer. Now I know we have sewers that are uncovered along the house and I know our toilets drain directly to said sewers. But where does the water flow to? Because let's think about this if it didn't flow anywhere then it would overflow eventually in the streets (which is why one never walks through a puddle nor does one walk through the flooding of streets when the rains from Monsoon are bad just an FYI tip for you). Yet it doesn't overflow into the streets so where does the water go. And before you go all smarty pants on me keep in mind there are no underground sewers in India or at least in this area I am in. That is why the sidewalks are uneven b/c one lifts up the sidewalk areas to help with flooding which is where the sewer is... Needless to say peps its not that deep the "underground sewer" it is in fact barely 4 feet down. The only water I find in India is in canals which I have to image that is where the sewer ends up otherwise those puppies stink worse than me and that folks is saying something. Although when one passes something in India that stinks one who happens to wear a duppta can in fact cover ones face and smell in the lovely smell of perfume if one remembered to put some on.

So I ask again what in the world am I bathing in?

And if what I think is true I have a feeling I shall never feel clean again until I come home in July. Why oh why do I sit up at night and think of these wonderful mysteries in India?

Scorpions do exist

 

Yep cause lizards, bugs, ants, mosquitoes, spiders as big as your palm, snakes, rats, and cockroaches the size of your foot weren't enough. Let's just go ahead and add in Scorpions. God I hate bugs or insects or whatever the hell you want to call them. And I really hate things that bite, sting, or well are just to big to squash without making a HUGE mess or you know might not squish cause they happen to be bigger than your foot and possibly stronger than your foot and they fly. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD ROACHES FLY. It is a very dangerous world we live in when a roach as big as your foot can fly and will attack when it has been sprayed with Hit AKA Bug killer that makes them go loopy before slowly suffocating the creature to death.

But once again I digress...

Back to the other creatures I shall enlighten you about roaches in another post. Scorpions are exactly like they look like in the books, Wikapedia (which sadly has become my BFF over here in India cause I just don't know as much as I should whilst I am living here and well hell it has all the answers), movies, and well nightmares.

Let me set the stage for you.

I went into the bathroom after a long car ride. Man I was tired all I wanted to do was bathe then go to bed. I shed my clothes I started in on my freezing cold bucket bath. Then realized I still hadn't peed (yes I'm graphic get use to it I have suffered a trauma and my God I just don't care any more). So over to the toilet I sunder thankfully it was Western style and well I did my thing. I slowly got up to look for my towel and saw to my surprise a black thing in the corner where my heel had been pretty darn close to. (FYI close enough it could've struck me seriously not exaggerating at all I was that close to it). Now I had taken my glasses off so I couldn't see that well I reached for my glasses and clothes only to nearly scream as I realized what it was. Refusing to pull another lizard scenario that you all laughed at me about. I calmly got dressed went out of the bathroom and informed my friend that there was a scorpion in the bathroom. To which she replied are you sure? I mean its probably just a spider. "Nope" I responded calmly at her the whole time COMPLETELY FREAKING OUT IN MY HEAD. "I'm pretty sure its a scorpion." She shook her head and walked into the bathroom like whatever this foreigner is cray cray. Then she came flying out said bathroom and said "Oh my God there's a scorpion in the bathroom." Mom you would be proud b/c I did not say nananana see I told you so. Nor did I act superior. I simply nodded my head yes and waited for her brother to dispose of the creature while my friend was freaking out verbally beside me.

Don't get me wrong I was freaking inside my head and I didn't sleep a wink that night b/c I kept seeing the damn things crawling up my bed under my mosquito netting to get me or dropping down from the ceiling to attack. Needless to say God is good and 1. I did not get stung even though I was close enough too and 2. I did not get attacked in the middle of the night.

Needless to say I am a WHOLE HELL OF A LOT MORE CAREFUL. I fully inspect every room, bed, corner, bathroom, shoe, and piece of clothing I put on. And I thank my lucky starts that this is yet one more thing I don't have to worry about in KS.

Update

Hey everyone,
I wanted to give a quick update on where I stand so far. Because of your generous donations I have been able to come over to India and stay for the last 4 months. I have been working with 8 different girls ages 7 to 17. Some of them I help counsel or give advice to the counselor while the others I have the privilege of teaching English to. Each of the girls have a certain learning pattern and it has been a challenge to come up with lessons to reach all 8 and get them caught up in school.

So first and foremost I want to thank you. Thank you for donating to help me these last 4 months and thank you for your prayers while I have been over here. I truly appreciate it. Everyday has been a new lesson discovered and a new joy found. The experiences that I've had so far I wouldn't change for the world. I have had to grow in ways I never imaged I would have to.

I do have a small request however, I am still 2 months away from being able to come home. During that time I am still needing to pay rent, health insurance, electricity, and food cost. So far I spend around 300 a month in those expenses. I am needing help once again. So I am sending out the call for the last time. If you would like to help me with these expenses I would greatly appreciate any and all support. Anything I raise over my monthly use will be donated to the home directly. If you would like to donate to the home instead that would also be appreciated as well they can always use your support! You can find out how to donate here

If you would also take some time to pray for myself and the girls while I am over here that would be a huge help. God is doing wonderful things in these girls lives and everyday I am amazed at how He works.

Thank you again from the bottom of my heart for all your help, your love, your support, and your prayers. I truly appreciate everything you have done.

Side rant....

India is considered the "call center" of the world. And with all those calls coming and going with all that information they need to transmit from locations in US to India you would think something as simple as the internet would actually be good.

Question: So I ask does the internet in really exist or is it a myth?

Answer: Myth

No seriously the internet is practically non-existed here. When it does work it apparently gets hacked regularly according the government here. That does make me slightly concerned cause I realize that computers get hacked but the internet?! I can say I didn't see that one coming. So needless to say after 3 months here I still can't figure out why my internet and skype only work in the back bedroom at 4pm on a night of the full moon.

In other words if I don't get back to you via email or call you via skype its not you its me. And honestly this time I mean it. Internet just hates me and is starting to remind me of the wonderful woman Kharma who also hates me but alas I shall save that tale of woe for another day.

Rice, Rice, and please Lord no more rice

So some of you may know my woes of rice. For those few lucky enough to not hear this complaint I shall try not to come off as spoiled as I apparently am. In India the staple food here is rice. That means that every meal minus breakfast usually has some form of rice with it. The point of rice is the full effect you get after you eat it. I've heard and seen natives eat a WHOLE lot of food, noodles, chicken, rote, and beef only to go home and cook rice because they were hungry. Now don't get me wrong there are numerous ways to cook rice, and even more different flavours, textures and smells that rice have. And yes I am becoming very familiar with rice the differences, the things to look for, how to know if its fresh or not based on smell and etc...

 

So basically at lunch and dinner you are served rice which is considered a dry dish. This means that you will need dal and/or a gravy dish because you can't just eat a dry dish. Just like rice dal and gravy comes in many forms sometimes the gravy or dal is mixed with the chicken, but not usually. Usually you have a another dish of meat. So you eat rice, dal, and chicken for lunch everyday. No joke here and no offense meant when I say this but COME ON. Seriously?!?! Must we have that again? Can we mix it up with pork? What about no dal or rote whatever happened to serving rote? Or, or, or, could we just have some noodles just once? *crickets* No? I guess not.

 

Scary part the other day I had gone almost a week without rice at any meal... and you want to know the crazy part... I missed it?!?! Shocked yeah so was I its not natural I'm telling you. Luckily I got over and I'm now back to wondering if I really care that my rote isn't perfectly round or if I can live with semi-round rote in order to just not have to eat rice at this meal...

Umbrellas not just a fashion statement

Who would've thought that the last question you ask yourself when leaving in the morning is which umbrella should I take today? Do I take the hot pink one or should I go a little more toned down with the hunter green one with palm trees on it? Yet that is exactly what I find myself asking daily. Cause you know what that question can determine a lot. Okay, okay not all that much, but the point is umbrellas are important in India. They serve a person in numerous ways. First and foremost they protect you from the elements. And no I am not just alluding to monsoon season which has officially landed in the Northeast. Bring on the rain baby I need some rain... with just a little less flooding and mud. If possible but give me the rain any day it keeps the temp to a balmy 86 degrees instead of the normal 95+ so yeah I'm totally a fan of rain. Especially when I have my handy umbrella.

Then again when it is the sweltering 95+ an umbrella can come in handy as well to help block the sun from you. Side note and fun times for trivia... Did you know the sun rises in the East? I did and I am reminded of that every morning at what was 5 to 530 has now started its lovely rising at 4:30am. Yeah you read that right and here's more trivia did you know that when the sun rises that early so does the temps meaning that most mornings I wake up at 4:30 to a balmy 86 degrees in my room with no A/C. Take that Midwesterners take that.

Where was I? Oh yes umbrellas can block the sun making your sweaty walk to work a little less sunburnish. When one is walking without an umbrella one can not help but remember those stupid ants one tried to fry with a magnifying glass until her little heart couldn't take how cruel she was being and began to cry. Cause the poor little ants didn't deserve that and well was fine until they tried to climb on her. But I digress again. So the sun in India would be the sun (duh) and the atmosphere is the magnifying glass and well you guessed correctly I am the bloody ant. And if you happen to be the stupid ant that goes around without an umbrella even for just a moment you quickly realize the sun doesn't have a heart like you did when you were a child.

Also no amount of sunscreen can help you in this situation its almost like you are just daring the sun to see if it will still burn you when you wear it. The only thing that stops that sun from baking you is your handy dandy umbrella and well rain but we've already discussed the rain and the mud that comes with it causing brown spots along the back of your genie pants.

So when you are leaving in the morning the question still remains should I take the purple one, the palm tree one, the green one, or the pink one... I wear pink genie pants when I'm feeling sassy so I guess today shall be the hot pink one cause one can never have enough sass in India.

God's cruel joke...

Many of you have asked if I can get English movies over here. And yes, yes I can sometimes when I am super lucky (which I'm not very often) I can even get new releases like the new Die Hard movie and Argo (both I enjoyed the first mainly b/c it was in English and I'm a Die Hard junkie the second was actually a really good movie). Of course any English movies you get here or see in the theatre have subtitles in English and if you happen to have ADD like me you might find you watch them more than the actual movie. Then at the end of the movie you start wondering just why in the world was I watching the subtitles I speak English for pete's sake. But alas I digress so back on topic.

God's cruel joke --> For the first 2 months I was here the only movies I could find in English were (and I kid you not) The Mummy and Jurassic Park. That was it. Seriously I couldn't find an English movie that would play on my computer other than those 2. Now don't get me wrong both are really good movies in their own right. Both have a great story, good writing, and an excellent plot. But, seriously for 2 months that was it.

Thank God those 2 months have passed I have since then hooked up with other travellers who have a vast collection of English movies old and really old. Then I downloaded ITunes and now I have an unlimited supply of English movies for the small fortune of 12.99 a pop. Needless to say I own none. I just borrow from ex Pats moving through the area. That will teach you that when one is traveling learning to download movies on a pin drive is a useful thing.

Squatty potties and dirty feet... it explains so much

Warning the following is not for the faint at heart or stomach....

Alright ladies let's discuss the bathroom situation over here in India and why I thank God daily that I can hold my bladder for upwards of 8 hours when needed. Healthy no and I will remedy this when I get back to the good Old US of A, but in the mean time I will hold it as long as it takes to get to a clean western style toilet unless I am absolutely certain I won't find one between point A and point B.

Now you have read the train story I'm sure if not you can read it here first then come back I'll wait. What I left out of that lovely adventure is the picture above AKA the dreaded squatty potties that all trains and most places in India have. Now the few that do have a Western style potty do not stock toilet paper. So it is almost pointless to go to them unless you enjoy being sprayed by water that would put a fireman's hose to shame. Or you learn how to use a cup that has water in it. Of course you can always carry your own toilet paper which is in fact what I have chosen to do here during my stay. I never leave home without! Whose says you have to be a boy scout to always be prepared? My mad toilet skillz would amaze you at best shock you at worse, but I'll leave that up to you to decide as we progress.

So one learns to carry (to quote LOTRs) "my precious" toilet paper everywhere one goes. The train is no exception. Let me walk you through a typical train ride... after one holds their bladder for as long as one can you slowly wiggle your way out of the middle bird, drop down from the top bird or simply stand from the bottom bird (see now you understand why I covet the bottom bird) and slowly make your way through the narrow walk ways to get to the potty that you share with a thousand other people currently on board and who have travelled before you. Cause I'm betting they don't clean the potty at all EVER... (I told you, you have been warned)

As you make your way down to the potty you read a sign that says please do not flush when at station... as you determine why that is you walk into a suspiciously wet floor that is in a small room slightly bigger than an airplane bathroom but a whole lot dirtier. You look down and see a hole in the floor and two skid plates where your feet should go. There is a handle bar to help you squat and to hold on to as the train is a rockin back and forth. There is also a very dirty looking cup filled with what I am only hoping is water.

Now the goal of this is to not get your pants, kurta, dupatta, feet or any part of your body wet with well you know. So you go ahead and roll up your jeans to at least the tops of your knees. You then proceed to place your feet where the anti-slip skids are. Then you squat whilst using the handle bar which happens to be on the left hand side (this is important as you will note that you never take anything from someone nor give anything to someone with your left hand. This is one of the many reason why. The other is due to not having toilet paper)

Now you are going to want to grab on tightly to that handle bar cause as I mentioned before the train is rocking back and forth (to and fro to and fro that's the way the wold rolls) Now once you are in a squat position you are going to need to aim for the hole. If you do not hit the hole you will spray your feet. I am not saying that I've done this or anything per say I'm just asking you to trust me on this little bit of free information. Aim men and Aim women if I knew everyone was aiming as good as me then I wouldn't question the wetness on the floor so much. Aiming is the key to using a squatty potty.

I hope during this whole time you have remembered your toilet paper. I hope you were smart enough to keep it under you chin because at this point digging it out of your pants is not going to happen and using that cup is very questionable. So memo to you always bring toilet paper and carry it under your chin. Next you have to remember while in India you will be wearing a kurta. That is a VERY LONG SHIRT that goes at least to your knees. It does have slits in the side to help but its still very long. So not only do you have to wrestle to keep your pants from touching the "wetness" on the floor you also have to prevent your kurta from touching anything or getting sprayed when you are squatting. 

Personally to help with this I tuck my kurta into my bra or up to my shoulders sometimes under my arms. Then I tie my lovely dupatta (another positive attitribute) around my middle to hold my kurta in place or to tuck my kurta into it or around my shoulder on one side. Either way it does help with the kurta dilemma you will face in this situation.

If you do happen to forget your toilet paper at any point you can use the cup usually beside the squatty potty. I would forgo it on a train but in other less questionable areas it is perfectly acceptable. Now you use the cup by either pouring it down or splashing it up. If you pick to splash it you forfeit your pants and everyone will know how much you struggled with cleaning yourself after using a squatty potty (again not from experience per say just a general observation *throat clears*) On a plus side if you do splash and forfeit your pants your feet become clean. However, you will have to squeak back to your seat/bird/car all while trying to pretend that the water was in fact from you "washing your feet on purpose" and not from missing with the cup and splashing your feet and jeans instead. Again no first hand knowledge of this per say.

Now that was simply a potty on the train if one must do the potty elsewhere like a village or a tourist location it is much easier, but please remember to take your toilet paper and look around. Some places demand you put the paper in a waste bin while others don't have a clue that you are even bringing it in. Also you might want to bring the toilet paper with you if you are visiting as a guest that way you just avoid the whole awkward situation in someone's home. I freely admit if you look in my purse at any given time you will see a roll of toilet paper that I carry with me everywhere I go.

Ladies you have been warned

Oh and PS antibacterial gel is a MUST and VERY handy in those moments after using the potty. Actually its just handy in general since most wash rooms don't have soap to begin with.

Train rides in India... and the joy they encompass

At first it sounds like a heck of a good time. I mean not to sound like Sheldon Cooper or anything, but who doesn't like trains? Especially if its across a country you have never seen to a place you have never been what could be more adventurous I ask you? Then you see this...

 

 

Just playing that isn't what I rode, but a lot of you were thinking it was weren't you? Come on be honest! So it wasn't anything like this, but it was an adventure. First off it is night when one travels across country so that view you were imaging that you might get doesn't happen. It also means that you are now expected to sleep on the train since once again you will be traveling at night and arriving about 2 or 3 in the morning if in fact the train is on time. Now I am not sure if any of you have ever rode on a train during the night or in fact slept on a train so allow me to set the stage for you if I may.

First and foremost you must prepare yourself for the mass exodus/mad dash to either get aboard the train or off the train. EVERYONE and I do mean EVERYONE attempts to get off and on at the same time (when here you face this same situation pretty much everywhere there is not a clearly marked entrance or exit). Now for those of you unfamiliar with a mass exodus/mad dash entrance it involves a whole heck of a lot of pushing, some yelling, then some smashing, followed closely with pulling and shoving. It also includes some choice words in a language you may or may not understand followed closely with a tone that you can't mistake. I promise you the tone and the meaning behind the words was duly noted buddy, duly noted.

Now you may be wondering if that also means you have to fight for your seat because obviously if you are that desperate to get on you surely are in order to get a good seat. That you would in fact have to fight for your seat. Well if that is what you are thinking then you would be wrong. The mad dash and mass exodus is for nothing... absolutely nothing. There is in fact assigned seats. So the mad dash is for no other reason then the simple fact of why not?! We can so we will mentality.

So now that you have fought your way on board, then found your assigned seat, and then stored your luggage underneath your assigned seat you think you can relax and let the adventure occur. That's when it hits you that you actually have to sleep on this thing. This is what your seat looks like at first

Now it depends if you are lucky or not (and let's face it if you have been reading this blog up to this point you have surely figured out that I am not lucky). If you are not me and lucky you will get the bottom bunk/bird. If however, you are me and unlucky in your travels you will either get the middle bird/bunk or the top one.

When they are down and ready for bed this is what they look like...
Now the middle bird is a tricky bird (pun is in fact tended) and when one enters the middle bird one must envision oneself as a worm crawling into a cocoon. All you can really do in this situation is to wiggle on your stomach up to the top and flop down praying those two strappy things that are holding you up in fact do hold you up throughout the shaky night. Now once you are in your bird that's it there will be no sitting and if you were me there will be no going to the bathroom b/c let's face it I had no idea how to get out of the bird once I was in it. And while the whole country of India is smarter than I (b/c they have in fact mastered how to get out of the bird to pee) I was stuck for 6 hours praying that we wouldn't hit anymore ruts in the track.

Now if for some reason you are lucky enough to get the top bird as I was coming back it is much easier to get in and out of. You do not have the added worry of the bird collapsing under your weight and you have the advantage of steps on both sides to climb up and down. The only difficulty one has on the top bird is making the bird up for a nice little sleep. This means that when riding on the top bird you might just find yourself sleeping on vinyl plastic sweating your butt off wishing they had not in fact turned off the air conditioning in an air conditioning car because enough natives complained about how cold it was getting. The whole time wishing you had mastered making a top bunk bed back at camp. *sigh*

Now if the story above sounds like an adventure to you well then all I can say is bully for you. Cause you haven't even asked me what the potty situation is like yet... yep that one is going to be saved for another day needless to say this part is a walk in the park compared to the squatty potty that I had to use on a train. Next time I travel via train I vow to never drink water during my 6 hours and to always, always get the bottom bird.

For Melissa who wants to know what Holi is like

This is not it LOL welcome to Bollywood. Although this is what people tend to think this is what Holi is it is in fact not nearly as fun or glamorous as this nor surrounded with so many pretty people... so yeah enjoy

Side saddle is a sure fire way to die

I know, I know it sounds like fun... well its not. It is in fact scary as hell. You are barely balanced, you can not move in the way your body naturally wants you too (if you do the driver will in fact yell at you in numerous languages) the whole time the above mentioned driver is bobbing and weaving in and out of traffic going speeds I dare not mention for those weak in stature. The whole time he is doing his bobbing and weaving thing you are clinging to the back of the bumper and to his shoulder yelling at him in only one language that isn't suitable for young ears. Then when that doesn't work you resort to threating to haunt him every day of his life if he gets you killed. With the added threat of "and trust me you don't want this voice haunting you everyday until you die!"

Now as if that wasn't all traumatic enough let's add in the wonderful creation known as a dupatta. That just loves to fly in the wind reminding you that if it feels like it, it can and will end your life by getting caught in the wheels. Because it knows that you know there is no way you are letting go of the stupid bike to catch it cause that would be a sure fire way to die as well. You really begin to realize that stupid express caught between a rock and a hard place fits this exact situation. Making you want to know which rock and hard place that person who came up with the expression was in. I bet you it was wearing a dupatta whilst riding side saddle on a freaking bike in India. I would in fact put money on that (no seriously I won't because you know I don't have any).

The dupatta also knows that if you should happen to shift to try and grab it that your driver's wrath will come hard, swift and without warning. He will jerk suddenly to the side. Tell you with measured breath to get off his bike. Then after what I'm sure was counting to 10 tell you to get back on. This time you are to "sit like a man for crying out loud". As you get off you think nope not going to happen I am not getting on this bike again with this person yelling at me and this stupid dupatta choking me and no... screw it I will walk home. Until you realize you have no idea where you are because during the whole ride besides the panic that was building about the fact you just might die as a fatality due to a dupatta you also had your eyes shut praying that the ride would be over as soon as possible and that you wouldn't die being known as the foreigner that choked herself to death.

So with a deep breathe and a prayer you hop back on the dang bike sitting like a man this time with your dupatta firmly tucked under your butt.

Dancing in the Rain

When you were a kid what was something that you always wanted to do, but where scared to do?

For some it was riding a bike, for others it was crossing a street, but for our girls it is and was dancing in the rain.

A month or so back we had a warm rain shower. The kind that you pray for in Kansas. The temps had been so hot we couldn't take the girls outside due to heat, the air inside was stale due to lack of breeze and frankly no one wanted to do anything. Then all of the sudden a thunderstorm rolled in, the air within the house was building with tension that was starting to boil over due to being trapped within for so long. The girls were ready to explode. Until the thunder past and I showed them what it truly means to dance in the rain.

At first the girls were scared, the rain was colder than they expected, they were worried about ruining their clothes, or getting in trouble. They had never thought to dance in the rain and to be honest at first I thought I would be the only one out getting soaked. They watched me with wide eyes as I boldly marched out in the middle of the yard and turned slowly to face them. Then out of no where I started dancing like a fool for the world to see. I mainly attempted to do some American moves with Bollywood thrown in for good measure. That earned me a few stares and a lot of giggles. As the giggles got louder I noticed the girls were slowly moving towards me.

When they were within arms reach I snatched out and grabbed one. I wrapped her up in a bear hug and forced her to stand in the rain and dance a waltz with me. She laugh and eventually started to dance without me. The tricky part was getting the older one to think it was fun and not childish. After dancing around each other and a lot of coaxing we finally got her close enough to wrap up in a hug and dance. This of course led to splashing each other, laughing, singing, and some dancing. I'd love to tell you it was a beautiful dance that was well choreographed. But it wasn't it was pure innocent fun of two young ladies who have lived a life I can't even phantom letting go for just a moment of all the anger, guilt, and shame to be children once again by dancing in the rain.

It lasted a while until I noticed their teeth chattering and then much to their disappointment I led them back inside. Once up in their rooms they discovered that dancing in the rain is very similar to dancing in a shower LOL. Clever silly girls that they were they just moved the party upstairs in their bathroom. Finally they were tired enough to change and dry off moving back downstairs.

I admit that in my life I have taken a lot for granted and one of those things for sure is dancing in the rain. I will never forget the looks on their faces as they raised their heads and sung to the rain as it poured down on them. They would twirl and dance all while laughing and splashing each other. They were so innocent and happy in that moment it took a lot for me to pull them away. I am truly blessed that God gave me that moment the right thing to do. Tempers died down, the girls felt they had gotten away with something, and now the 3 of us have a secret about dancing in the rain. It is something they haven't done since and something that every time it rains they look out, look at me and giggle.
 

Some Bollywood for your entertainment AKA what I listen to

Yep slightly obsessed with this stupid song that won't leave me alone in fact it haunts me, everywhere I go it follows like Mary's stupid lamb. But man does it have a good beat or what?!

Dust storms really do happen and not just in deserts

You do not have to live in a sandy part of the world to experience dust storms. Some that are so bad you feel as if you can't breathe, which is sort of what the above picture looks like. Yes there is a good reason to have a dupatta after all. There is also another good reason to pray for monsoon season then again that surely comes with its own issues. I was going to call this a sand storm and in fact I think I have before until I was informed by a native that, I was in fact being a tad dramatic. Cue my eye roll and pardon me for confusing the two.

Anywho either one is not pleasant nor is it something anyone should ever wish to have to experience. Especially if you are a foreigner and didn't know that A) they really do exist in this part of the world or B) happen to be inside when it hits and just are thankful for the cool breeze coming in through the window. Not thinking that it would also leave behind the destructive caterpillars and dust almost a half inch thick. The dust does tend to coat everything your nicely cleaned floor that you spent way too long sweeping with a hand broom then on your bended knee mopping it by hand. Only to then discovered it is now covered in dust as is your computer, tables and chairs. But by the time you discover this little tid bit it is too late. The bugs are in the dirt is set and locking up your flat to roast in 98 degree weather just feels like plain torture at this point.

So you then face the dilemma do you let the dust continue to gather with the lovely breeze or you can shut up your apartment and clean up the dust. AKA re-cleaning the darn thing that just took you the better part of the morning to clean in the first place. Then after you spend another part of your day re-cleaning b/c let's face it that really is the only option you opt for a very ice cold shower if you can find it and crawl into bed. But before you do (And trust me this step is key) change your sheets.

SORRY

I am sorry everyone for the lack of an update! I swear I am doing well and I have a lot to talk about per usual. Sadly school is standing in my way and our conversation. My last week is next week so after that GAME ON!!! In the meantime please enjoy these Bihu pictures that we did at the home and I think there is even a video and psych no there's not sorry...

 

Facts about caterpillars

Fact 1: not all caterpillars are cute and fuzzy
Fact 2: not all caterpillars smoke pipes and spew riddles to cute little blonde headed girls who follow rabbits down holes.
Fact 3: some caterpillars do in fact bite or leave little hairs all over your bed that might cause a person to break out in large red welts...

Point of fact: the red spots not only hurt but itch like no other. Something else that was not in my Welcome to India hand guide.

Also point of fact: You may find yourself blaming the mosquitos for biting you 15 times on the back of your leg and then wonder how you slept through that onslaught of attacks without waking up or killing them.
Then you discover that little black dot in the middle of your bed that is no bigger than the head of a pin is in fact not a piece of dirt. It is actually the enemy spy that was trapped with you all night inside your mosquito net that is suppose to in fact keep you safe from all harm like lizards and said mosquitos. Instead the mosquito net let you down and allow the enemy to sneak in to slowly torture you to death by making you itch and itch and itch your legs until they are darn near unrecognizable.
Alright, alright maybe its not that drastic but man I itch and my legs look horrible (not that anyone in India can see them since they are covered in HUGE I dream of genie pants) all this is from one tiny little bug that just happened to sneak in during the middle of a sandstorm (and yes I shall write about that at a different time) which I still don't understand how a place that is in the mountains and not desert mountains yet we still get sand storms...

Anywho if you should happen to travel here to the lovely area of Assam please watch out for little black things that look like dirt but are in fact traps that get sprung as soon as delicate flesh touches them. To be safe if you see any black things in bed just wash them in EXTREMELY HOT water and forget about it. It will help you sleep better at night if you don't think about it.










 

Rickshaws saviors or means of death?!

Every now and again I just don't feel like walking... or playing frogger in traffic so on those days which just so happen to coincide with me being cheap, allow force me to ride in a rickshaw. Now before I go any further please know that these guys work hard and get paid very little. Image if you had to carry people and supplies on a bike up and down hills, in and out of traffic for miles on end for less then 50 cents a trip?!?! Now that you realize how much respect I have for anyone who does this for a living, I think it is only fair to let you know how much I hate riding in them...

Please stay with me. Take a look at the picture above, read the article I posted about frogger then come back and finish this one...

There is ABSOLUTELY no protection from traffic here in a rickshaw. In Guawahati there is this unspoken rules about who has the right away... cars are on the top, then buses, trucks, motor bikes, walkers (for those AMC The Walking Dead fans I'm not talking about the dead kind just plain old folks like me trying to cross the street) then sadly comes bicycles. So rickshaws get little to no respect on the streets here.

Now sit in one and image crossing through the said traffic above with people honking at you to move faster yet not letting you in to get across the street. Riding up to you and stopping suddenly sometimes even scrapping the bike... The only thing your driver has in a little bell to warn people he is trying to cross, get through or well move into their lane. As if that wasn't stressful enough, also picture yourself wearing I dream of genie pants that are so big it puts MC Hammer's pants to shame. Then imagine if you will trying to get in and out of the rickshaw that happens to be at least 3 feet off the ground gracefully while not being choked to death with your dupatta or snagging your pants on the bamboo covering. Now you have to make it to the ground without falling or getting caught in anything all while the driver is looking at you like you could stand to loose a few pounds... (working on it buddy seriously).

I keep telling people here that these are death traps. I swear it is not the way I envision leaving this Earth, but every time I am in one I can't help, but think this time, this time just might be it for old Sara Brown. By the time my life is done flashing before my eyes (which is strange cause I don't feel old enough to have a life flashing moment to take so long, but alas apparently I am now... at 30+) the driver is staring at me wondering when I will get out so he can move on. Then wonders if I am going to pay for the damage I caused by clenching his bamboo covering and leaving a dent...

Frogger in real life...

So I know that I have touched on this subject before, but thought I would share a more intimate look at what the game of frogger means to me here in India...

Do you recall frogger? I remember playing it on the Atari when I was a kid and loved it. I also remember what happed to Ms. Frogger (hey I was ahead of my time as a kid FEMALE POWER *clear throat* any way moving on) looked like when she didn't make it through the traffic . The scene where Ms. Frogger gets squished is fresh on my mind and flashes regularly as I attempt to cross the street here in India. As well as the GAME OVER and the dog that pops up laughing at you that you can't shoot no matter how many times you try (yes different game, but he still makes an appearance in my nightmares).
But I digress, needless to say the picture above is the only way to describe walking in Guwahati unless... you play the mind sweeper that's what walking on the sidewalks are like. When walking on the them you are constantly alert for men peeing against a wall, dog poop, cow poop, hell cat and bird poop, men spitting, people cleaning their mouths out with water and spitting, merchants selling things, beggars begging for things, and let us not forget the Hindu priest threating you or maybe blessing you or heck maybe he's just schizophrenic talking behind you, beside you and in front of you.
As if all that wasn't enough you get to add in broken sidewalks, pieces of sidewalk that move (they remove them during monsoon season)pieces of sidewalks that just don't fit together, rocks, sand and the random bump in the sidewalk that I swear is there just to make sure you are paying attention when walking.
Everyone is like oh let's walk here that way you can learn your way around... Uh no seriously?!?! How does anyone know where they are? Half the time I am looking down to avoid the above mentioned landmines that I don't get to see anything other than the occasional roach that is bigger than my foot or a random lizard. Hell the only time I ever look up when walking is if I become the unwilling participate in the game of frogger mentioned above. And then I find I randomly will grab people's hands to make sure if I get flattened they do too!
So dear friends when in India you have 2 choices. You can either walk like an Indian and force yourself to not care when you trip or stumble. Or you can walk like this ex pat and never see any scenery until you stop to catch your breath or stop to give yourself the pep talk needed to run across the street yelling the whole time "I will not be the dead frog I WILL NOT BE THE DEAD FROG". If you take the latter approach please note that people will not only stare (they do that no matter what) but they will also laugh nervously and walk quickly away from you.

 I have sadly reached the point where I just bum rides from other people or ask the girls to walk me places ;)

Good luck!

Dupattas how I hate thee

An ode to Dupattas...

You are long (too long by anyone with common sense standards)
You get caught in everything particularly rickshaws, autos, bags, doors and under my thigh
You give thy enemies (and sometimes friends JORDANA as well as Tim) a choking weapon to use against thee
You never cover enough to matter
You're required everytime I leave the house
You stain me when it rains (had hot pink hair for 2 days)
You always try to keep me in the auto or rickshaw when clearly its time to get out
You never stay in place (I think its an attention thing)
You hate when I wear anything else including purses or handbags (its you or nothing)
You're never quite heavy enough to help when I'm cold yet never quite light enough when I'm hot
You refuse to block the sun and in fact help it to burn me in weird patterns
You come in every bright color one can image yet none of them suit me
You wrinkle one day and the day I need you to wrinkle you lay flat...

oh dupattas how I hate thee

There's a lizard in my bathroom... his name is Fred

So I ask you what would you do?

I apparently have a lizard in my bathroom that didn't decide to show himself until I was already naked and wet with soap in my hair. What would you do if you were in the middle of a shampoo and saw something shoot across the floor and up the wall? Would you scream like a little girl? Cause that's what I did. FYI doesn't seem to bother people here in India. After I regained what little bit of dignity a person who is naked, wet with shampoo still in their hair and screaming can regain I decided that I was going to finish my shower lizard be damned.

Filthy little bugger was laughing at me the whole time. Now I know some of you are thinking how can a lizard laugh? With his eyes... its all in his eyes. So much for a peaceful shower I mumbled through the remaining 2 second shower. Then as I sped through the rest of the shower I wondered what kind of neighbors do I have that just totally ignored me screaming where am I America? Jeez.

Needless to say after a very intense 2 second rinsing shower where I started at Fred and he stared at me I quickly jumped out and wrapped a towel around me. Talk about modesty coming into play in a MAJOR way. Seriously stop laughing and think about how long would you stay naked in a shower while a lizard watched?!? yeah that's what I thought. After wrapping up in a towel which gave me some confidence... okay and a small pep talked that went like this, "Sara you are a strong, independent woman. You have faced roaches, ants, lice, and rats this last month. Hell you've become numb to the fact there numerous spiders living currently in your apartment and let us not forget the roach you killed that was almost as big as your foot. YOU CAN FREAKING HANDLE A LIZARD..." So I grabbed my squeegee and held it up to the bugger. Wondering how I would explain to the hospital why my hip is broken when I slipped on the wet floor.

He ran I screamed and then quoted The Mummy, "And did I panic... I think not." Well honestly I did slightly for like a second or a minute. I mean after that I threw on my clothes ran to my bedroom and hid under the mosquito netting praying that lizards can't figure out how to get into the mosquito netting. Not to mention that every window I had open all of the sudden became a means for the nasty little creature to get back in so they of course had to be shut. 98 degree weather be damned no lizard was going to get me tonight. Did I mention that I also cursed the lizard as I pushed it out the window. Yeah I did I said, "Curse you Fred I hope the crow that lives out there and wakes me up at the crack of dawn every freaking morning eats you!" And you know what? I totally meant it.

I had thought I had adjusted to living here. I mean the roaches the size of my foot don't make me scream anymore even when they run over my foot. The ants in my kitchen have names now, the spiders too hell they are becoming my Wilson's... I even am use to the mosquito bites on the bottom of my foot (don't get me started on those I still don't know or understand how it happens.) Then this happens...I am drawing a line in the sand. There was no mention of freaking lizards in my welcome to India pamphlet I got at the airport: Welcome to India for the next six months you will eat every meal with rice, you will walk everywhere, your feet will always be dirty, you will drink from bottles, and squat when you pee with no toilet paper unless you bring it yourself. Here soon the temps will reach degree so hot you will lose 15lbs in a month from sweating so much. When the rains hit it will be just as hot with humidity reaching 100% so that you will never feel dry. During that time you won't be able to walk because the streets will flood. We have earthquakes here that if you are lucky you will sleep through. BUT NO MENTION TO ME ABOUT LIZARDS THAT JUMP OUT AND SCARE YOU WHEN YOU ARE TAKING A SHOWER.

And no he didn't have an Australian accent hence the name Fred. He was not nearly as cute as that one on TV nor did he try to sell me cheaper insurance. So I will no longer be sleeping with windows open b/c I will not wake up to lizards on the walls, nor will I be going to the bathroom at night anymore why? BECAUSE I REFUSE I just do... deal with it.

After typing this I realize that I have now become the crazy foreigner that screams and yells in her apartment for no apparently reason... that might explain some of the weird looks I've been getting lately...