Stuck

I understand the feelings of being stuck. I’m there right now. It might not seem like it but, I feel utter useless for the Kingdom. I feel stuck. I know where I want to be and I’m pretty sure that is aligning with where God wants me. I mean so far he hasn’t popped up any red flags or anything and yet… I feel stuck. This is the time of my life where I have the fire, the burning need and desire to serve Christ and yet I sit at home in my basement wondering now what?

Even though I have made the plans, I have enrolled; I have picked the classes, prayed over possible ministries, asked God yet again now what? I am still here in this place waiting. I am hoping the plan is to start doing more of the counseling stuff this fall by freeing up my schedule to be able to serve Him better and yet that hasn't necessarily aligned itself either.

I have all this energy and pinned up desire to serve somewhere, some place, somehow that I almost feel desperately stuck and not going anywhere due to lack of response. I keep yelling out to God, “here I am Lord, send me!” and all I keep hearing back is *chirp, chirp, chirp* and utter silence. I know this is not a reflection on me or at least I hope it isn’t a reflection on me. But, in these moments sometimes it feels so hard to talk to Him to understand that He has this. Sometimes when I pray and call out I get nothing and that is even more frustrating. Yet I have to remember that it is all in good time. That he knows me better than anyone.

The other day I rec’d this letter from a great and dear friend. I attempted to read it to my mom but, in the process ended up crying like a baby. It’s a letter from God to us His child. In that letter it reminds us of how much God loves us. Even when we are frustrated, sick, angry, or hurt he still loves us and is still working in our lives to bring us closer to him.

My Child,

You may not know me,
but I know everything about you.
Psalm 139:1

I know when you sit down and when you rise up.
Psalm 139:2

I am familiar with all your ways.
Psalm 139:3

Even the very hairs on your head are numbered.
Matthew 10:29-31

For you were made in my image.
Genesis 1:27

In me you live and move and have your being.
Acts 17:28

For you are my offspring.
Acts 17:28

I knew you even before you were conceived.
Jeremiah 1:4-5

I chose you when I planned creation.
Ephesians 1:11-12

You were not a mistake,
for all your days are written in my book.
Psalm 139:15-16

I determined the exact time of your birth
and where you would live.
Acts 17:26

You are fearfully and wonderfully made.
Psalm 139:14

I knit you together in your mother's womb.
Psalm 139:13

And brought you forth on the day you were born.
Psalm 71:6

I have been misrepresented
by those who don't know me.
John 8:41-44

I am not distant and angry,
but am the complete expression of love.
1 John 4:16

And it is my desire to lavish my love on you.
1 John 3:1

Simply because you are my child
and I am your Father.
1 John 3:1

I offer you more than your earthly father ever could.
Matthew 7:11

For I am the perfect father.
Matthew 5:48

Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand.
James 1:17

For I am your provider and I meet all your needs.
Matthew 6:31-33

My plan for your future has always been filled with hope.
Jeremiah 29:11

Because I love you with an everlasting love.
Jeremiah 31:3

My thoughts toward you are countless
as the sand on the seashore.
Psalms 139:17-18

And I rejoice over you with singing.
Zephaniah 3:17

I will never stop doing good to you.
Jeremiah 32:40

For you are my treasured possession.
Exodus 19:5

I desire to establish you
with all my heart and all my soul.
Jeremiah 32:41

And I want to show you great and marvelous things.
Jeremiah 33:3

If you seek me with all your heart,
you will find me.
Deuteronomy 4:29

Delight in me and I will give you
the desires of your heart.
Psalm 37:4

For it is I who gave you those desires.
Philippians 2:13

I am able to do more for you
than you could possibly imagine.
Ephesians 3:20

For I am your greatest encourager.
2 Thessalonians 2:16-17

I am also the Father who comforts you
in all your troubles.
2 Corinthians 1:3-4

When you are brokenhearted,
I am close to you.
Psalm 34:18

As a shepherd carries a lamb,
I have carried you close to my heart.
Isaiah 40:11

One day I will wipe away
every tear from your eyes.
Revelation 21:3-4

And I'll take away all the pain
you have suffered on this earth.
Revelation 21:3-4

I am your Father, and I love you
even as I love my son, Jesus.
John 17:23

For in Jesus, my love for you is revealed.
John 17:26

He is the exact representation of my being.
Hebrews 1:3

He came to demonstrate that I am for you,
not against you.
Romans 8:31

And to tell you that I am not counting your sins.
2 Corinthians 5:18-19

Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled.
2 Corinthians 5:18-19

His death was the ultimate expression
of my love for you.
1 John 4:10

I gave up everything I loved
that I might gain your love.
Romans 8:31-32

If you receive the gift of my son Jesus,
you receive me.
1 John 2:23

And nothing will ever separate you
from my love again.
Romans 8:38-39

Come home and I'll throw the biggest party
heaven has ever seen.
Luke 15:7

I have always been Father,
and will always be Father.
Ephesians 3:14-15

My question is…
Will you be my child?
John 1:12-13

I am waiting for you.
Luke 15:11-32

Love, Your Dad
Almighty God

If you want a copy of the letter you can get one here

I still get teary eyed when I read that letter. And even though I am stuck right now I know that this is an opportunity I can either use to better myself and prepare myself for His work or I can choose to sit back and pout wondering why I am not doing more.

My time will come and in fact to be honest I image my time is now it’s just doing things I don’t immediately see the response of. Instead of feeling stuck because my time isn’t more obvious to me maybe I should be focused on receiving God’s love and mercy now in this moment. After all He did give the ultimate gift: Life, His Son and His love