Train rides in India... and the joy they encompass

At first it sounds like a heck of a good time. I mean not to sound like Sheldon Cooper or anything, but who doesn't like trains? Especially if its across a country you have never seen to a place you have never been what could be more adventurous I ask you? Then you see this...

 

 

Just playing that isn't what I rode, but a lot of you were thinking it was weren't you? Come on be honest! So it wasn't anything like this, but it was an adventure. First off it is night when one travels across country so that view you were imaging that you might get doesn't happen. It also means that you are now expected to sleep on the train since once again you will be traveling at night and arriving about 2 or 3 in the morning if in fact the train is on time. Now I am not sure if any of you have ever rode on a train during the night or in fact slept on a train so allow me to set the stage for you if I may.

First and foremost you must prepare yourself for the mass exodus/mad dash to either get aboard the train or off the train. EVERYONE and I do mean EVERYONE attempts to get off and on at the same time (when here you face this same situation pretty much everywhere there is not a clearly marked entrance or exit). Now for those of you unfamiliar with a mass exodus/mad dash entrance it involves a whole heck of a lot of pushing, some yelling, then some smashing, followed closely with pulling and shoving. It also includes some choice words in a language you may or may not understand followed closely with a tone that you can't mistake. I promise you the tone and the meaning behind the words was duly noted buddy, duly noted.

Now you may be wondering if that also means you have to fight for your seat because obviously if you are that desperate to get on you surely are in order to get a good seat. That you would in fact have to fight for your seat. Well if that is what you are thinking then you would be wrong. The mad dash and mass exodus is for nothing... absolutely nothing. There is in fact assigned seats. So the mad dash is for no other reason then the simple fact of why not?! We can so we will mentality.

So now that you have fought your way on board, then found your assigned seat, and then stored your luggage underneath your assigned seat you think you can relax and let the adventure occur. That's when it hits you that you actually have to sleep on this thing. This is what your seat looks like at first

Now it depends if you are lucky or not (and let's face it if you have been reading this blog up to this point you have surely figured out that I am not lucky). If you are not me and lucky you will get the bottom bunk/bird. If however, you are me and unlucky in your travels you will either get the middle bird/bunk or the top one.

When they are down and ready for bed this is what they look like...
Now the middle bird is a tricky bird (pun is in fact tended) and when one enters the middle bird one must envision oneself as a worm crawling into a cocoon. All you can really do in this situation is to wiggle on your stomach up to the top and flop down praying those two strappy things that are holding you up in fact do hold you up throughout the shaky night. Now once you are in your bird that's it there will be no sitting and if you were me there will be no going to the bathroom b/c let's face it I had no idea how to get out of the bird once I was in it. And while the whole country of India is smarter than I (b/c they have in fact mastered how to get out of the bird to pee) I was stuck for 6 hours praying that we wouldn't hit anymore ruts in the track.

Now if for some reason you are lucky enough to get the top bird as I was coming back it is much easier to get in and out of. You do not have the added worry of the bird collapsing under your weight and you have the advantage of steps on both sides to climb up and down. The only difficulty one has on the top bird is making the bird up for a nice little sleep. This means that when riding on the top bird you might just find yourself sleeping on vinyl plastic sweating your butt off wishing they had not in fact turned off the air conditioning in an air conditioning car because enough natives complained about how cold it was getting. The whole time wishing you had mastered making a top bunk bed back at camp. *sigh*

Now if the story above sounds like an adventure to you well then all I can say is bully for you. Cause you haven't even asked me what the potty situation is like yet... yep that one is going to be saved for another day needless to say this part is a walk in the park compared to the squatty potty that I had to use on a train. Next time I travel via train I vow to never drink water during my 6 hours and to always, always get the bottom bird.