A little bit of Faith goes a long way.

I am currently re-reading the Bible from Beginning to End with the thought that I don't know the outcome. So in other words trying to figure out how God will answer his promise. I'm currently in Genesis (hey it's been a rough month) and BOOM it hits me...

Why do I always pray at 10pm (give or take) and expect an answer by 7am? Not only do I expect an answer at 7am I want it hand delivered by God tap dancing and saying "Hey Sara you were right, man you did truly need it, here you go Ta-Da" and poof the answer is there with whistles and bells. And yet as I'm reading through the 1st book of the Bible no less half the people don't even get to see their promises from God nor prayers come true in their life times. Did Eve ever get to see her seed strike the head of the serpent? Did Abraham see his descendants as numerous as the stars? I'm sure there are more I'm missing (and wait til we get to Moses) but for now you get the point. None of the greats saw their promises come full circle in the way they (like me) probably envisioned it.

So why do I expect an immediate answer? Heck it took Sarah an additional 20+ years (don't quote me on that) after a promise to Abraham for a son, a mis-step (when she tried to take control), and laughing AT GOD (granted behind His back but let's keep it real that was a risk) before she actually saw her promised son (whom by and by she named Laughter aka Isaac). Yet I want my prayer answered before I wake up the next morning, regardless of what is in the works b/c let's face it I apparently know better then God and deserve to have what I want and need right now.

As I write this it strikes me how dangerous and silly to demand and expect this from God (Uh hello my name is Sara I do tend to take after the female) it also struck me... how can one have Faith if one is given everything at once on demand. If one is given everything at once when one ask for it, one in fact has a genie. Not a wonderful, loving, compassionate God who is not trying to trick, make angry, take away from, enslave or punish the person praying. But, a God who works all things to HIS glory not SARA'S glory, but HIS. Who does not think like us ~ "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord" Isaiah 55:8

"So is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purposes for which I sent it." Isaiah 55:11

So maybe, just maybe I should sit back, relax and know that God has this. He is in control and Sara doesn't know everything as much as she thinks she does. If God is waiting to answer a prayer then maybe Sara should just have enough Faith to know that He a)heard her, b)loves her, and c)knows what is best for her which means He will answer it when it is time

Philippians 3:13-14

Brother, I  do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead. I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. ~ Philippians 3:13-14

How many of us have things in our past to which we would like to forget to move pass. I know I am one of those people who would love more than anything to forget the past and never talk about it again. Maybe that is why I love these verses so much. Paul was a man of single purpose. He had one aim and one ambition...

forgetting what is behind ~ this would mean not only forgetting his sins and failures (another thing I would like to forget), but it also hints at forgetting his natural privileges, attainments, and successes as well as his spiritual triumphs. See it is easy for us to simply forget our mistakes or at least hide them, but how many of us would be willing to give up our spiritual successes and privileges in order to strain toward what is ahead? In order to reach the what is up ahead and in store for us around the next bend in life we have to forget what is behind us moving only forward straining to get the goodness that God has in store for us in the future.

I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus ~ looking at himself as a runner in a race Paul describes himself as exerting every effort towards the goal for the prize of the upward call of God. Can we say the same? I know there are few things in life that I exert myself for and very rarely is the goal of the upward call of Christ.

Now I know some would ask well what is the goal and prize. In 2 Timothy 4:7 (a verse I pray that someone will read at my own funeral and know that they are speaking the truth) I have fought the good fight I have finished the race I have kept the faith now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness. The goal is the finish line of the race. The goal is to live such a life others want to run behind you to reach for that glory and love they see shining through you. The goal is to live a life so much like Christ people ask you about him everyday.

My goal today and everyday forth is to run that race with the same passion and exertion that Paul demonstrates to us in this verse. To press on to the finish line without looking to the past and allowing it to weigh me down. My prayer for you is the same it is time to forget what is behind and press on towards the goal step by step one foot in front of the other until we reach the finish line.
 

Ephesians 1:3

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ ~ Ephesians 1:3

We learn from this verse that everything God is ever going to do for us, He has already done. Every spiritual blessing is already located in this unseen realm. Every promise God has made and plans to fulfill on your behalf, every gift you will ever receive, and every hope that will ever be satisfied has already been deposited in your account in the spiritual realm. God has "blessed us with every spiritual blessings in the heavenly places in Christ." Your blessings and victory are already located there with your name written on them, waiting for you to grab them, use them, and walk in them.

I just love the book of Ephesians. And can honestly say it is a book of hope for me in this book we learn so much from spiritual blessings to the full armor of God and how to use it when we need it. Look at what we learn in the first 3 chapters,
We are:
chosen predestined
adopted as sons
accepted in the Beloved
redeemed through His blood
Forgiven
sealed with the Holy Spirit
given the earnest of our inheritance

How can you not love this book? What's your favorite book or scripture which chapter do you find yourself turning to the most when you need that Spiritual pick me up?

Matthew 6:6

But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father who is unseen. Then your Father who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. ~ Matthew 6:6

 

"When you pray" --> no specific time nor instructions on when we are to pray. It does however, tell us that it is expected that we will pray. Jesus states that when you pray which implies that he expects us to be praying.

"go into your inner room" --> Location was not he point of this verse. It was not telling us to build a special place that we pray in or go to that location and location only when pray but what it is talking about here is the attitude of our prayers. Find a place that you can go to in order to talk to God without the temptation of showing off in your prayers or making them wordy.

"shut the door" --> Close out all distractions so that you can focus and completely concentrate on God and pray to Him and Him alone.

The most important secret He sees is not the words we say in the privacy of our room but the thoughts we have in the privacy of our hearts. Prayer that is thoughtless and detached is offensive to God and should be offensive to us as well.

Prayer more than anything else is sharing the needs, burdens, and hungers of our hearts with a  God who cares...
In other words it is time to talk to God share with him everything share with him the desires and wants of your heart go to Him in faith and know that he is listening....

*Prayer notes during a sermon I heard overseas*
 

For Women ~ I hope this helps as it helped me thru a rough patch

I chose you before I formed you in the womb; I set you apart before you were born. I appointed you a prophet to the nations ~ Jeremiah 1:5

Pay close attention to these 3 main points:
1. I chose you
2. I set you apart
3. I appointed you

You are a woman chosen, a woman set apart and a woman appointed. You are not here by accident in this moment. It is no mistake that you are living right now with your won set of circumstances, dealing with your specific set of issues, all while working within your personalized set of skills and abilities.

God has made you  and has placed you here... on purpose.

1. He chose you. You are involved in a divinely designed, carefully calculated, and eternally significant plan. For reason you may not fully understand or even agree with, God selected you as His own. His choice of you was based on a deep, intimate knowledge of who you are. So even if you can not fathom why God would choose a person like you to participate in a particular activity, He Himself is well aware of His reasons. He has selected you, and everything about you, to participate in the work He is doing at this point in history. God's choice of you for this leg of the marathon was by design.
Not because it has accidentally happened like this but because you have been known and Chosen by the Coach who sees you as uniquely suited, equipped, and capable of carrying out such amazing plans with such intricate precision.

You did not choose Me, but I chose you ~ John 15:16
if we're ever to live out the plans He has for us. Your value, like mine, is ultimately found in the underserved but wholly divine selection processes of God.

2.  He set you apart. Being "set apart" carries the idea of being dedicated for a specific use at a specific time, being reserved for those opportunities when (and how and where) you can best be used, when you can most be yourself. You are a holy vessel of God, set apart for specific times when the uniqueness you offer can be fully used and valued "a special instrument, set apart, useful to the Master ~ 2 Timothy 2:21
We were each created by a God to do our part. And if we fail to do it because we don't its valuable enough, great loss will be suffered. Someone, somewhere, needs YOU - in all of your uniqueness - to step up to the plate of your calling.

Rather than seeking to impress and outperform others, and rather than feeling ashamed by what you don't have and can't do, relish the opportunity to stand as a living, walking, eating, breathing example of what God's grace can do with a woman He has set apart, weaknesses and all, to be a sacred vessel in His service. You are a purposeful place setting.

3. He has appointed you.  Being chosen and set apart is quite an honor, but make no mistake - it comes with great responsibility. Among the reason God chose you was to put you in a position to yield specific outcomes in your personal life situations. You did not choose Me, but I chose you. I appointed you that you should go out and produce fruit ~ John 15:16

Therefore, you can trust that He has planted you right now in the place where you will be the most personally productive. Even if you are not inherently pleased with the person He's made you to be, even if you may not be abundantly happy with the circumstances you're currently living, you can be sure that God has planted you here with design and intention.

He has selected the "soil" where you're presently growing. Every kind of season and weather you experience has had to pass through HIs fingers before coming into contact with you. It's all been divinely designed to surround you with the conditions that allow your unique gifts and abilities to reach maximum potential. To grow. To yield. To produce.
Your seeds are designed to produce a crop that's uniquely yours. So there's no point in trying to produce fruit that is someone else's to grow. Your job at any given moment is to bring all your gifts, all your talents, all your propensities and all your passions into this thing called life and believe that they are good enough to produce the fruit that is expected of you.

Trust Him. He knows you, He has special plans for you.

I don't know all the things you're struggling with at this moment as you strive to attain a healthier self image. But I know that the only way to experience it is to fall back into the genuine, authentic reality of your value in God's eyes - the One who chose you, set you apart, and appointed you to bear fruit. He has loved you enough to make you like no other, and He's given you a task that is yours alone to complete with His abundant help and empowerment.

***All this was taken from Priscilla Shirer's The Resolution for Women. All credit is due to her and her alone. I only shared this because myself and my dear friends struggle with self-esteem issues and this really struck a cord with me. My prayer is it struck a cord with you. Please pick up this book it will empower you to resolve to being the woman God created you to be ***

My Time in India

is coming to an end

I know a lot of these blog posts have been funny. Some have been serious, and some have just been down right scary (lizards and scorpions anyone?). They have showed my struggles over here and they have showed me attempting to fit in and work things out. Sometimes they even showed a success or two. They fell short in showing the beauty of the land and people. These post couldn't have shown you the whole picture there wasn't enough time.
These posts didn't show the growth I've experienced, the lessons both hard and easy, the lonely nights, the days that flew by. They didn't show the need of the people I saw everyday, the beauty that is hidden if you can just look past the dust. They were unable to show the times I wrestled with my pride, spoke in anger, acted in fear, or spoke in love. They are unable to show the nights that I cried myself to sleep, the hurt that I saw when I looked into our girl's eyes, nor the broken hearts that cried out to God asking why. And they are unable to capture the love of those around me attempting to help them heal.
These posts didn't show the prayers said, the harsh words at God for allowing this to occur, the questions of why me from both the girls and myself. The questions of why India? Why now? These post were unable to show my egotistical thoughts of being able to fix this country and every girl that we got when I first arrived. Nor could they show how quickly God humbled me. They are unable to show the fights I had, the struggles of will, the letting go of pride, the attempt to grasp the whole picture, the letting go and giving it all to God, or the trust I had to put in God. I have learned a great many things here and some of them are too personal to share while others. Well others are things I hope you all can see when I get home.
I no longer have an answer to everything, I no longer believe I can solve every problem on my own. I no longer solely rely on me. I couldn't not here in India where everyday was a struggle. It was a struggle to wake up and face another day, it was a struggle to not give up hope, to not give in, to not lie down and allow myself to get swallowed up in depression.
Now every morning I wake up with renewed grace and just enough strength to get through the day. Everyday I see how all my struggles throughout my life have been for this 6 months. They have made me strong enough to get through this. They have prepared me and sharpen me for this moment so that I would be able to look to the one person that would get me through.
Every time I lay down at night (hot) and exhausted I stare up at the ceiling full of awe of how God works and how he took me through A so that when M presented itself here I would be prepared. I was a teacher in A and now in M I'm a teacher. I was a case manager at B and now in N I am a case manager. I was a supervisor at C now I am supervisor. I went to school to be a counselor at D and now in P I am a counselor.
Needless to say I told you all that to say this. If I knew in January that I would come to India and deal with all of this involved with the home. And all the personal stuff that I would have to struggle with and come to terms with I would've walked away. Now knowing what I know and learning what I've learned I wouldn't miss an opportunity like this for anything.

The people I've met, the friends I've made, the girls that I've been blessed to be around, the lessons I've learned that have been hard and easy, and the experiences I've had have been worth it. It's been worth the lizards, rickshaws, trains, squatty potties, bugs, heat, autos, scary people, lonely nights, tears on my pillow, and rice. They have all taught me more about myself and the strength that only God can provide.
My time is coming to an end here in India and in less than 13 days I will be in Thailand. There I will have a brief time to heal from all the horror stories I've heard about the girls, I will have a chance to be with God alone with no distractions. Once home I will be able to prepare for coming home and facing new challenges. There will be no more dust, no more honking horns, and no more dirty feet. I will be able to rest completely not worrying about a sudden trip to the ER in the middle of the night or a problem at the house. I will be able to carry on a normal conversation that doesn't have to be translated. I will be able to drink water from the tap without the fear of consequences.
And I will finally be able to have a snow-cone or a hamburger.
But oh how I shall miss the eight shinning faces greeting me in the morning asking me Ma'am English? Or just running up for a hug. Or the teasing, the I love yous, the Sara di-di, the laughter, the hokey pokey, the yelling and screaming. I will miss the random gifts made from young hands, the tears as they explain to me their woes in a language I don't understand. I will miss their good mornings and their good nights.
I will miss finding an excuse to run into the office in order to hide out in the A/c. I will miss my friends who laugh at my hiding. I will miss shopping for kurtas, KFC trips, having a coke delivered daily. I will miss Mina asking me if I want Maggi, Hima asking me for English lessons and calling me Sara di-di, I will miss Prodipta joking around with me about the hot dentist or cop that just popped into the house. I will miss Saraba and I discussing America and how different it is from here, but how well she will do when she moves there. I will miss Jordana and I reviewing cases that always lead to personal therapy on ourselves. I will miss Janice constantly popping up with ideas that have to be done right now, and Don saying sure to them all. I will miss the caregivers asking me how I am and then laughing when I say, "ki ko say?" (which is totally spelled wrong but means "What she say?").
I will miss the hot showers that never get cold in the summer and the cold showers that never get hot in the winter. I will miss constantly looking for Fred in the apartment and hoping he didn't eat the dead cockroach since I killed it by spraying it with Hit. I will miss worrying that the Hit I did just kill the cockroach has killed valuable brain cells I may need in the future. I will miss the quiet noise filled nights with honking, shouts, babies crying and drunk men singing. I will miss the too sweet sweets, the bright colors and the never ending hot sun that rises way too early. I will miss the hours of grading papers, the days of writing lesson plans, the long nights of prayers and the constant presence of rice.
I will miss the people begging as I walk, the shy way some few brave ones come up to me to say hi in English. The quick way they then run from me when I answer back. The multi talented way I have learned to walk carrying an umbrella, purse, groceries, back pack, computer, cell phone, and my handy dandy Swiss army knife ready and armed. I will miss the darting in and out of traffic, the fresh mangos, the oohs and awws at the hair salon when they style my hair. I will miss the way the shop owners attempt to impress me by showing me they speak broken English yet then over charge me. I will miss the way I am always called sister when I pass by and how no one ever knows where KS is. I will miss that every time I visit someone they insist on feeding me or giving me tea.
I will miss the photos and being asked to pose with people or being asked to be friends with people on FB. You would think I wouldn't miss these things and yet I do. I know a lot of my post have been funny or scary, however, in reality India has been wonderful. Nicer than even my own country at times. Sure there are frustrations and headaches, weird toilets, and no toilet paper, but that is everywhere. At least here I find that if I just smile it all works itself out.

India I was scared to death of you. Of what you held, what would happen to me, what would become of me. And now I find that I am truly sad to be leaving you. Leaving behind my new sisters (Prodipta, Jordana, Sara Jane, Bulli, Apora, Junali, Audrey, Nancy, Anna, and Hima,) my new brothers Anupam and Jonathon, all my dear friends Janice, Renee, Kelley, Jan and Felicia and my new found aunts and uncles (all the aunties and uncles in Jorhat, Mina, Superjani, and aunties and uncles in Dibrugarh) I will miss you all and I will miss the 7 lovely faces I see everyday.

Man who would've thought leaving would be so hard.

A prayer

Lord Father,
Thank you for all that you have given me. For all the things I do not deserve, for all the blessing you have blessed me with, for all the love you surround me with. I want to thank you. Lord Father I know that you have me here running a race and that race has a goal and I thank you for entrusting me with it. I ask Lord Father that you continue to help me to keep running the good race (Gal. 5:7) Lord Father. To help me forget my past and strain towards what is ahead. Lord Father help me to press towards Your goal Lord Father (Phil 3:13b-14).
Help me Lord Father to live a life so full of faith that I can say when I stand before you that I fought the good fight, I have finished the race, and I have kept the faith Lord Father (2 Tim 4:7). Lord Father I ask that you help me to continue to run this race with the perseverance that is needed to complete it to Your satisfaction.  This is the race you have marked out for me (Hebrews 12:1b). Lord Father I ask for Your help to give me the strength not to just keep running it Lord Father, but to keep running it with a smile on my face. Lord Father, I know that you have great plans for me (Jer 29:11) and I just ask Lord Father that You help me to not run like a man running aimlessly (1 Cor. 9:26), but to run with a purpose in mind. Your purpose Lord Father. Let everything I do be for Your glory Lord Father and for Your honor. Please continue to guide me in your way Lord Father. I ask all these things in Your name Lord Father.

Amen